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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #date, #love & dating, #video

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Dilbert enters Video Date, Inc. Dilbert sits across from a desk. A man smoking a cigar explains, ". . . Then we film our clients so prospective dates can screen each other for compatibility." The man continues, "For an extra fee we supply special effects to make you appear more manly. Our most popluar theme is where we dress you in a loin cloth and you rip the arms off an Arnold Schwarzenegger dummy while bombs explode nearby!" Dilbert asks, "Gosh, don't you have something that will make me look sensitive and caring?" The man thinks. The man says, "Okay . . . We dress you up as Mary Tyler Moore and have you bottle feeding this plastic dying dolphin." Dilbert replies, "No, too sensitive. Suppose we say the dolphin just has a bad cold . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #death, #door, #medical

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There is a knock at the door and Dogbert says, "I'll get it." Dogbert opens the door and sees the Grim Reaper. Dilbert asks, "Who's at the door, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I'm hoping U.P.S. has relaxed its dress code."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dress, #flattery, #Dilbert, #dish, #cloth, #ordinary, #fashionable, #dropped, #jello, #shoes, #wipe, #up, #compliment, #gracefully

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pity, #date, #beauty, #grace, #attracted, #Dogbert, #standards, #woman, #dating

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Heather, there's something I must tell you." Heather says, "Stop . . . Stop right there. I know what you're going to say." Heather continues, "Although it's our first date, you find yourself very attracted to me." Heather continues, "You are stunned by my grace and beauty, and you hope we can be more than friends." Heather continues, "Let me set you straight, Dilbert: this is a pity date. My standards are too high for you." Dilbert says, "Actually, I just wanted to tell you that your dress was tucked into the back of your pantyhose all night." Heather looks shocked. Back at home, Dogbert asks, "How was your date?" Dilbert replies, "Man, it doesn't get any better than that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #foreign, #language, #children, #dress, #vikings, #hollering

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Opera should be banned from television." Dogbert continues, "It must be obscene, or they wouldn't have to sing it in a foreign language." Dogbert continues, "And we can't let children think it's okay to dress like Vikings and go around hollering."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #judy, #dog, #blind, #dates, #fetching, #flowers, #woman

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Dilbert holds a bouquet of flowers as he rings a doorbell and thinks, "I'm always nervous on blind dates." A dog in a dress answers the door and says, "Hi, I'm Judy! You must be Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Hi . . ." Judy asks, "How do I look?" Dilbert replies, "Um . . . fetching."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #trapped, #dog's, #body, #operation, #electrolysis, #costs

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Dilbert and a dog in a dress sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks, "That is absolutely the LAST blind date." Judy says, ". . . Then I realized . . ." Judy continues, "I'm a woman trapped in a dog's body . . . So, now I'm saving for a species change operation." Dilbert asks, "Is it expensive?" Judy replies, "Well, you can imagine the electrolysis costs alone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #judy, #blind, #date, #woman, #friends, #Dogs, #body, #dog, #dating

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Dilbert says to Judy, "To be honest, Judy, I wouldn't have agreed to this blind date . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . If I had known you were a woman trapped in a dog's body." Judy, a dog in a dress, looks sad. Judy says, "Oh, right, and this is the part where you say 'Let's be friends, but maybe I could pet you sometimes.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #kiss, #question, #gracefully, #blind dating, #love, #dog, #animal behavior

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Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japan, #favoite, #animals, #remember, #calisthenics, #shark

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The Boss approaches Wally and Dilbert carrying costumes. The Boss says, "On my recent business trip to Japan, I learned that Japanese workers dress as their favorite animals to boost productivity." Wally wears a beaver costume and Dilbert wears a dolphin costume. In Japan, a group of workers laugh as one man says, "Ooh-ooh . . . And remember the time we told them we all do calisthenics?!"