Coin Flip Comic Strips
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Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"
The caption says, "Jury deliberation." Dilbert, Dogbert and the other members of the jury sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I'll be the jury foreman, since the rest of you are losers." Dogbert asks, "Did anybody listen to the boring parts with the evidence?" Dogbert says, "And nobody as a coin?! Geez, what's this system coming to??"
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I didn't approve of you buying Lenin's body to begin with . . ." The body lies across milk crates. Dilbert continues, "And I certainly don't approve of you making a desk out of it." Dilbert asks, "Are you listening to me?" Dogbert says, "Hey, if I flip him over I can use his nostrils as a pencil holder!"
Dilbert holds a coin out in his hand. He says, "I will debunk your ludicrous claim of psychic ability with one hundred flips of this coin." Ratbert looks on. Dilbert flips the coin and says, "Call it." Ratbert trows out his hands and says, "Edge." The coin lands on its edge. Dilbert frowns and says, "That was just coincidence." Ratbert says, "I call edge for the next 99, too."
Dilbert forwns and says, "Just because you guessed a hundred coin flips in a row doesn't mean you're psychic." Coincidences so happen." Dilbert flips the coin again, high in the air. Ratbert says, "I call seven rotations followed by inexplicable hovering and hen noises." The coin floats in mid-air. Dilbert points and says, "That is luck... luck, luck, luck, luck, luck!" Ratbert says, "Are we done now?"
DISCOUNT BROKERAGE: A customer is sitting across the desk from Dogbert. The customer asks, "Can you give me free investment advice?" Dogbert replies, "Sure." Dogbert yells at the customer, "Give me all of your money now now now!!" The customer asks, "What if I paid sor some advice?" Dogbert says, "It's the same except my ears don't flip up in a threatening manner."
Tina: Dilbert totally flipped out when I showed him the cost estimates. Alice: "Really? Or is this one of those cases where someone acts normally and you inexplicably tell the world that they totally flipped out?" Tina: "Whoa! Don't flip out." Alice: "I wonder if I can punch her sane."
Dogbert: I'm wearing my tall pants and my old-fashioned hairpiece because I'm running for president. "I put a glove on my tail so I can shake 50% more hands." "My policy is to give all the money in the treasury to Iowans. But I might flip-flop after the first primary."
Tina: You're late, as always. Dilbert: You mean twice. If you include the time you forgot to set your watch back an hour. And this time when you e-mailed the wrong start time? Tina: Oh, look how you try and flip it around!"
Wally says, "Who's the idiot that put a mirror in the lobby? That's bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I keep trying to work, but all of our workplace energy is getting reflected right back out to the sidewalk." Wally says, "And the way your desk is angled is totally flipping me the chi bird!"