Dogs Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for Dogs comic strips. Discover the best "Dogs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."
Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."
Dilbert crouches in front of the fireplace stoking the fire. Dogbert says, "You know what really gripes my wagger?!" Dogbert continues, "Insensitive humans who say things like 'she's a real dog' or 'he's in the dog house' or 'it's a dog's life.'" Dilbert replies, "Sounds like a pet peeve."
Dilbert sits at his desk using a screwdriver. Dogbert says, "You know, dogs can sense earthquakes before they happen." Dogbert says, "Here comes one now." Dilbert drops the screwdriver. As Dilbert hides under the desk, Dogbert says, "This has potential to keep me entertained for weeks."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"
A man behind a counter at the Department of Dogs says to Dogbert, "I'm sorry, but it seems you've failed the written portion of the dog license test." Dogbert replies, "Impossible!" The clerk says, "For example, this question on 'natural enemies': the correct answer is 'mailman.' You wrote in 'fax machine.'" Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How'd it go?" Dogbert replies, "The 'Department of Dogs' does not keep up with emerging trends."
Dogbert walks away from the mailbox holding a letter. He says, "Ha ha ha! My scheme to conquer earth is right on track!" Dilbert sits at a desk working on a device. Dogbert enters the room and announces, "I've been approved for a Macy's credit card!" Dogbert says, "I'll use this credit history to apply for Visa and Mastercard." Dogbert continues, "Soon I'll have credit cards from every bank in the world." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll do a cash advance on every card, netting billions to form a worldwide lottery prize." Dogbert continues, "And everybody who supports me as supreme ruler of earth gets one free lottery ticket." Dilbert says, "You know, most dogs would be delighted just to get a nice chew-toy."
Dilbert stands in the kitchen making a sandwich. Dogbert says, "According to my research, dogs are exempt from human laws." Dogbert continues, "The great part is that I can commit any crime and my owner will be held fully responsible." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping you won't take a selfish view about this."