Search Results for "accident"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #accident, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sixty minutes, #people, #Dogs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #car, #oaf, #court, #circus contortionist, #accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's car taps the car behind it. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp . . . I'd better see if I dented it." Dilbert leans into the car and tells the driver, "Your bumper doesn't appear to be . . . Uh-oh." The driver's legs and arms are contorted. He shouts at Dilbert, "Look what you've done to me, you oaf!!" The man hops out of the car and shouts, "I'll see you in court!!" The driver sits in the witness stand and tells the judge, ". . . And now I'll never be able to work again." The lawyer asks, "What kind of work did you do?" The man replies, "Well, uh . . . Er . . . Um . . ." The man answers, "Circus contortionist." The man adds, "As far as the settlement goes, I can be flexible."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #volkswagen, #car accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert enters looking dazed and Dilbert asks, "Dogbert! What happened to you?" Dogbert replies, "I was hit by a Volkswagen." Dilbert bends down and asks, "Does it hurt?" Dogbert says, "I feel like fahrvergnugen."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #freak, #accident, #bestow, #powers, #nuclear, #plant, #industrial, #keep, #out, #sign

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at the table wearing a super hero suit that has a hood, cape and letter "D" on the front. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm tired of waiting for a freak accident to bestow super powers upon me." Dilbert says as he walks away, "I'm going to the nuclear power plant to wait for an industrial accident." Dilbert approaches an industrial plant. Three other men in super hero suits stand under a sign that says, "Keep out."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #unnatural, #have girlfirend, #star trek comaprison, #falls in love, #girl dies, #shooting star, #panic, #weird, #overthinking

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "It seems almost unnatural for me to have an actual girlfriend." LIZ: "Why?" Dilbert: "It's like when the captain on 'Star Trek' falls in love, and you know the woman will die in an unlikely accident." "Hey! We just saw our first shooting star!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ethics questions, #co worker, #pentium pc, #run over foot, #car accident, #parking lot, #Dilbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #injury free days, #very ironic, #chart injuries, #falls, #putting up sign accident

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #more office space, #share cubicle, #arrange usual accident, #got box

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice peers over the walls of her cubicle at Dilbert. She says, "I hope we get some more office space soon. Otherwise, I'll have to share my cubicle." Alice says, "If they send someone here, I'll arrange the usual 'accident'." A co-worker walks in behind her, box of supplies in his arms and says, "Hi!" A spring under an office chari propells the co-worker out of Alice's cubicle. His supplies go flying. wally and Dilbert watch his arc through the air. "Wow. She got the box, too," says Wally.