Search Results for "accident"
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Character
Sunday November 26,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."
Thursday November 30,
1989
Tags #accident, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #sixty minutes, #people, #Dogs
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "What does a dog school have in common with the tv show 'Sixty Minutes?'" Dilbert turns around and answers, "They both have 'Hairy Reasoners.'" Dogbert says, "Uh . . . right." Dogbert walks away thinking, "And people wonder why dogs sometimes turn on their owners . . ."
Thursday June 07,
1990
Tags #bob, #dawn, #dogberts, #security, #neutralize, #motives, #accident, #dinosaurs, #cult
Transcript
The caption says, "Bob and Dawn join Dogbert's cult." Dogbert says to Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs, "You two are in charge of security." Dogbert continues, "Your job is to neutralize anybody who questions my motives." Dawn says, "Actually, we have some questions of our own . . ." Dawn asks, "Or should we just neutralize ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "Make it look like an accident."
Sunday December 16,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #car, #oaf, #court, #circus contortionist, #accident
Transcript
Dilbert's car taps the car behind it. Dilbert says, "Oh, carp . . . I'd better see if I dented it." Dilbert leans into the car and tells the driver, "Your bumper doesn't appear to be . . . Uh-oh." The driver's legs and arms are contorted. He shouts at Dilbert, "Look what you've done to me, you oaf!!" The man hops out of the car and shouts, "I'll see you in court!!" The driver sits in the witness stand and tells the judge, ". . . And now I'll never be able to work again." The lawyer asks, "What kind of work did you do?" The man replies, "Well, uh . . . Er . . . Um . . ." The man answers, "Circus contortionist." The man adds, "As far as the settlement goes, I can be flexible."
Saturday January 05,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #volkswagen, #car accident
Transcript
Dogbert enters looking dazed and Dilbert asks, "Dogbert! What happened to you?" Dogbert replies, "I was hit by a Volkswagen." Dilbert bends down and asks, "Does it hurt?" Dogbert says, "I feel like fahrvergnugen."
Tuesday April 09,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #freak, #accident, #bestow, #powers, #nuclear, #plant, #industrial, #keep, #out, #sign
Transcript
Dilbert sits at the table wearing a super hero suit that has a hood, cape and letter "D" on the front. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm tired of waiting for a freak accident to bestow super powers upon me." Dilbert says as he walks away, "I'm going to the nuclear power plant to wait for an industrial accident." Dilbert approaches an industrial plant. Three other men in super hero suits stand under a sign that says, "Keep out."
Monday July 25,
1994
Tags #unnatural, #have girlfirend, #star trek comaprison, #falls in love, #girl dies, #shooting star, #panic, #weird, #overthinking
Transcript
Dilbert: "It seems almost unnatural for me to have an actual girlfriend." LIZ: "Why?" Dilbert: "It's like when the captain on 'Star Trek' falls in love, and you know the woman will die in an unlikely accident." "Hey! We just saw our first shooting star!"
Tuesday October 25,
1994
Tags #ethics questions, #co worker, #pentium pc, #run over foot, #car accident, #parking lot, #Dilbert
Transcript
Wally: "I have a question for the Ethics office." "If my co-worker has a 'pentium' pc and I have a 386, is it okay to run over his foot in the parking lot?" "It seemed like a long-shot when I asked."
Tuesday June 18,
1996
Tags #injury free days, #very ironic, #chart injuries, #falls, #putting up sign accident
Transcript
Dilbert walks by a workman standing on a chair and nailing a sign to the wall. The sign says, "10 Injury Free Days." Dilbert hears, "Bam! Aaaeeii!! R-r-roll thud." Dilbert stands over the workman who has fallen off the chair. Dilbert says, "This is very ironic." The workman says, "No, it was ironic when it happened eleven days ago."
Friday August 01,
1997
Tags #more office space, #share cubicle, #arrange usual accident, #got box
Transcript
Alice peers over the walls of her cubicle at Dilbert. She says, "I hope we get some more office space soon. Otherwise, I'll have to share my cubicle." Alice says, "If they send someone here, I'll arrange the usual 'accident'." A co-worker walks in behind her, box of supplies in his arms and says, "Hi!" A spring under an office chari propells the co-worker out of Alice's cubicle. His supplies go flying. wally and Dilbert watch his arc through the air. "Wow. She got the box, too," says Wally.