Acknowledge Existence Comic Strips

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34 Results for Acknowledge Existence

View 1 - 10 results for acknowledge existence comic strips. Discover the best "Acknowledge Existence" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pile, #mail, #resident, #ahh, #therefore, #mailbox, #existence, #existential

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Dilbert takes the mail out of the mailbox and thinks, "Ooh! Nice pile of mail today!" Dilbert looks through the mail and thinks, "Resident . . . Resident . . . Resident . . . Ahh, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I get mail; therefore I am."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #compelte, #eons, #martial, #bliss, #gomer, #somebody, #enlightened, #ruebert, #hell

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Ruebert the Robot says to Dilbert, "My mate is complete! I will now have eons of marital bliss!" The female robot says, "I don't think so, Gomer. I'm going to shop around . . . Maybe find somebody more enlightened than a can opener." Ruebert says, "It's Ruebert, not Gomer, and I'm the only other robot in existence!" The female robot thinks, "I'm in hell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #bob, #dinosaur, #meaningless, #existence, #ironically, #ruined, #life

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Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, sometimes I wonder if there's a place in this world for a sensitive rat like me." Ratbert continues, "I can't live the hollow, meaningless shell of existence that others so ironically call 'life.'" Ratbert concludes, "I want to make a difference to people." Bob says, "Well, you ruined MY day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #weight, #universe, #collapsed, #existence, #thimble, #space, #logical, #flaw, #theory

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Dilbert sits at his desk explaining to Ratbert, "Then, Ratbert, the weight of the universe collapsed in on itself until all of existence could fit into a thimble!" Ratbert asks, "Why would there be a thimble in space?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . There wouldn't . . ." Ratbert says, "Boy, it didn't take long to spot the gaping logical flaw in that theory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #justify, #computer, #Draw, #attention, #empowerment, #quiet

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Dilbert sits at his desk thinking, "I need to work on something big so I can justify my existence here." Dilbert thinks, "But not something important, because that would draw attention to me at a time of staff cuts." Dilbert thinks, "What can I do that costs a lot but nobody wants?" The Boss walks by thinking, "'Empowerment' sure made them quiet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #percent, #subradiante, #latched, #obscure, #engineering, #fact, #painful, #implications, #microfleems, #blows, #fascinating, #acknowledge, #grasp, #technology, #issues

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss asks Dilbert, "Did you know that twenty percent of all microfleems are subradiante?" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh. The Boss has latched onto some obscure engineering fact." Dilbert thinks, "This is going to be painful." The Boss says, "Just think of the implications. It means eighty percent of microfleems are NOT subradiante." Dilbert crawls under his desk thinking, "Maybe I can hide under the desk until this blows over." The Boss continues, "Don't you think it's fascinating? I mean, what with the implications and all . . ." Dilbert replies, "Okay, okay. I acknowledge your incredible grasp of technology issues." The Boss walks away thinking, "It almost makes me curious what a microfleem is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #computer, #patent

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Add my name to your patent application to acknowledge my contribution." Dilbert asks, "What contribution?" Dilbert says, "You said it was a stupid idea by a stupid employee. You ordered me to stop working on it." The Boss says, "Devil's advocate!" Dilbert adds, "You also said I was ugly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #imagine, #being a woman, #men in training, #people acknowledge, #can't find keys, #blouse falls off, #distorted view, #misogyny

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"In this sensitivity excercise, close your eyes and imagine how it feels to be a woman." "People acknowledge my existence. They smile for no reason and hold hte door open. I'm ...I'm popular." "I can't find my keys." "I'm never going back. I can't. I won't." "My blouse falls to the floor..." "Break! Break!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #throwing out cat, #no value, #widen demograohic, #make you immortal, #bargaining, #wants to stay

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"You have to go, Cat. You have no value to us." "Actually, my mere existence will widen your demographic appeal and makeyou immortal." "Oh...a Cat. That's original." "Give it a rest, 'Mickey'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something

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"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."