Alter Personality Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

64 Results for Alter Personality

View 1 - 10 results for alter personality comic strips. Discover the best "Alter Personality" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #computer, #Women, #personality, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert says, "There . . . My program proves that pretty women have extremely bad personalities." Dilbert continues, "This is based on the input that pretty women are never nice to me." Dogbert asks, "Why does the screen say 'or you are a geek?'" Dilbert replies, "Darn! I thought I fixed that bug."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #personality, #cult, #wear, #bathrobes, #picture, #back, #run, #naked, #attractive, #people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to form a personality cult to honor me." Dogbert continues, "I'll take everybody's money and make them wear bathrobes with my picture on the back." Dilbert asks, "Wouldn't it be cheaper to brand them and let them run naked?" Dogbert replies, "As a rule, we're not talking about attractive people here."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rat, #plague-carrying, #vermin, #household, #personality, #television

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Dilbert, this is a rat. Rat, this is Dilbert." The rat says, "I've come to live here!" Dilbert says, "How lucky for us. We were just saying how much we needed a plague-carrying vermin to round out the household." The rat says to Dogbert, "He doesn't have much of a personality . . ." Dogbert replies, I usually drown him out with the television."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #system, #data, #bits, #virtual, #array, #conflugalize, #words, #woman, #female, #employees

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #sunglasses, #personality, #toupee, #roy orbison, #rely, #employee, #store, #update, #image

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee. Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses. Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #android, #kit, #walk, #talk, #dress, #differently, #Dogbert, #around

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert assembles an android and says to Dogbert, "I built this android from a kit." Dilbert continues, "He doesn't have a personality, but he will walk around and talk." Dogbert says, "Well, I hope you guys will at least dress differently."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #television, #show, #ignorant, #people, #shadows, #alter, #voice, #electronically, #considerate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm going to host my own television show." Dogbert continues, "It's called 'Dogbert's World of Amazingly Ignorant People.'" Dogbert continues, "Of course, I'll film you in shadows and alter your voice electronically." Dilbert replies, "That's very considerate."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #marriage counselor, #love, #car, #later, #personality, #mildew, #spraying, #dizzy

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman sits next to her husband. She says, "I fell in love with him because he had a great car . . ." The woman continues, "It wasn't until later that I realized he has the personality of mildew." Dogbert sits in a chair holding a pen and a pad of paper. Dogbert asks, "Have you tried spraying him with Lysol?" The woman replies, "Yeah, it only makes him dizzy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #dating, #relationships, #obsessive, #personality, #slave, #love, #waiter

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a restaurant table. The woman says, "I must warn you that I have an obsessive personality." The woman continues, "If I spend a moment with a man I fall completely in love. I think of only him. I . . . I become his slave." Dilbert says, "Are you saying . . ." The woman replies, "Yes. I'm in love with our waiter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Astrology, #stars, #personality, #seasonal, #differences, #sunlight, #natural, #mothers, #predictable, #results, #fetal, #brain, #ancients, #measure, #patterns, #watches

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert helps Dogbert onto a rock as he says, "It's amazing that people believe in astrology . . . As if the stars could affect your personality." Dogbert replies, "Well, seasonal differences in diet, sunlight and natural rhythms could affect expectant mothers, which could have predictable results on fetal brain development." Dogbert continues, "Maybe the ancients simply used the stars to measure the timing of these patterns." Dilbert asks, "If they were so smart, why didn't they invent watches?"