Attack Comic Strips
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30 Results for Attack
View 1 - 10 results for attack comic strips. Discover the best "Attack" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 07,
1989
Tags #compliment, #home, #design
Transcript
Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "The designs for my revolutionary new 'home defense system' are now complete." Dilbert looks at the plans and says, "Well, this is very detailed. But where do you think we can find this many 'flying attack porcupines?'" Dogbert says, "Just TRY to get a compliment out of that man."
Monday August 07,
1989
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #shower, #egg, #lassie, #rin tin tin, #benji, #big, #furry
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a stool and looks in the bathroom mirror. He asks, "Do you think I look more like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie? Maybe Benji?" Dilbert stands in front of the shower with a towel around his waist. Dilbert replies, "I dunno . . . Maybe a big furry egg." Dogbert says, "With that little inspiration boost, I believe I am ready to attack the new day."
Thursday September 05,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #worried, #teenager, #trees, #declare, #war, #norway, #pimple, #attack, #drafted
Transcript
A caption identifies a young man as a "worried teenager." Dogbert approaches the teenager on the sidewalk and asks, "What's wrong with you?" The boy replies, "WOOD . . . What happens if we cut down all the trees?? We'll have to declare war on Norway and take their wood! I'll be drafted! I hate fiords." Dogbert yells, "Pimple attack!" A huge pimple sprouts on the boy's face.
Thursday February 20,
1992
Tags #robot, #discriminating, #female, #years, #compensate, #past, #injustices, #therefore, #argument, #effective
Transcript
A female robot says to Ruebert, "Males have been discriminating against females for a million years." Ruebert thinks, "Guilt attack." The female robot says, "Therefore, YOU must compensate ME for past injustices." Ruebert says, "You know, for a ridiculous argument, it's nonetheless quite effective." The female robot says, "Thank you."
Thursday July 15,
1993
Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #product
Transcript
Ratbert says to Dogbert, "I think I've hit upon a brilliant new direction for expanding our product line." Ratbert says, "I call them 'Carpet Patch Kids.' Each one is made from carpet and has its own name!" Ratbert says to the carpet doll as he walks away, "Don't feel bad, Raquel. I don't think he meant it as a personal attack."
Friday October 03,
1997
Tags #mob, #stupid people, #attack dogbert, #drink hose water, #isn't working, #grass, #attack, #ruin our lawn, #spraying water, #hose fight
Transcript
CAption: A mob of stupid people attack Dogbert's house. One in-duh-vidual says, "Our plan to drink all of his hose water isn't working." Another in-duh-vidual has a garden hose in his mouth and looks as if he is about to burst. The first in-duh-vidual says, "Hey, careful! You're getting water all over the grass..." Another person says, "Wait, that gives me an idea!" Dilbert reads the newspaper. "How's the attack going?" Dogbert replies, "They tried to ruin our lawn by spraying water on it. But now it's turned into a hose fight."
Monday May 20,
2002
Tags #senior vice presdient, #cyrus, #virus, #infection, #managers, #old cronmies, #pointy haired pete
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'd like you to meet our new Senior Vice President, Cyrus The Virus." The Boss continues, "Like an infection, he will soon attack the managers in this company and replace us with his old cronies." The new Senior Vice President says into his cell phone, "Tell pointy-haired Pete to get over here right away."
Saturday September 07,
2002
Tags #customer satisfaction, #shows improvement, #focus group, #attacked researchers, #two pencils, #premeditated
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "Our survey of customer satisfaction shows improvement." The Boss continues, "The focus group spontaneously attacked our researchers using number two pencils as shivs." Dilbert asks, "That's an improvement?" The Boss responds, "Last year the attack was premeditated."
Monday March 15,
2004
Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully
Transcript
Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."