Best Seller Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

291 Results for Best Seller

View 1 - 10 results for best seller comic strips. Discover the best "Best Seller" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #store, #reaction, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert enters Electrode Hut. Dilbert says to the salesclerk, "I'm looking for a detonator coil, suitable for a small nuclear device." The clerk faints and falls to the floor. Dilbert says, "That was the best one today!"

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #best friends, #dog, #favor, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Don't think of it as fetching, think of it as doing a favor for your best friend." As he leaves the room, Dogbert says, "It's still pretty degrading." Dogbert lifts up the bed covers and finds Dilbert's slippers. He thinks, "Grumble, grumble, grumble . . ." Dogbert says, "Uh oh! It looks like Mr. Hedge Clippers wants to speak to Mr. Slippers!" Dogbert hands Dilbert his shreaded slippers. Dogbert says, "Will you be needing your bathrobe too, O Great Master?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #eat, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #overused phrases, #wednesday, #swimming, #jokes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: One more adjustment and my trans-dimensional radio will be complete. Man: Welcome to the land of overused phrases. Man 2: Boy, they let any-body in here. Dilbert: Uh... Hi, how are you? Both Men: Not bad for a Wednesday! Man 1: Let me give you the tencent tour. Man 2: OUch! I"ll just walk on the bottoms. Dogbert: You know, swimming is the best form of exercise. Both Men: The chosen one!! Dogbert: Nah. I'm just pulling your legs.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #book, #walking, #dog, #picking up, #Women, #baby, #single male, #overrated

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks in a book and says to Dogbert, "This book says the best time to pick up women is while walking a dog." Dogbert says, "Let's try it." Dilbert holds a leash that is wrapped around Dogbert's stomach. Dogbert walks in front of Dilbert yelling, "Yo! Baby! Whoa whoa! Shake it, don't break it! Come and get your single male!!" Dilbert says, "I think this method is overrated." Dogbert yells, "Form one line! No pushing!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #invention, #deodorant, #sarcasm, #bones, #sweat

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert shows Dogbert a device that looks like a handle. He says, "This is my newest invention: the deodorant spray booster pack!" Dilbert explains, "You connect it to any can of deodorant to boost the rate of output." Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert replies, "Why?! . . . Do you know how much time is wasted waiting for the spray to hit your armpit?" Dilbert activates the device and it blows him through the wall. Dilbert lies on his back in the backyard. He says, "As my best friend, I'm sure you can contain any sarcastic references to deodorant until my bones mend." Dogbert replies, "No sweat."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Women, #party, #act, #naturally, #scrutiny

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror adjusting his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dogbert says, "The best way to impress women at the party is to just act naturally." Dilbert walks though a party thinking, "Act naturally, act naturally." Back at home, Dilbert says, "Logically, it is impossible to 'act' naturally." Dogbert says, "Most great advice doesn't hold under scrutiny."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #flat earth, #society, #witness, #christopher columbus, #death, #conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk looking at a flattened globe. Dilbert asks, "You joined the 'Flat Earth Society?'" Dogbert replies, "I believe the earth MUST be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called 'round earth theory.'" Dilbert says, "I think Christopher Columbus would disagree." Dogbert says, "How convenient that your best witness is long dead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #phone, #answering machine, #greeting message, #demonstration, #Dogbert, #demonstrating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capitalism, #communism, #Dogbert, #dorgy, #popular methods, #rich

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You see, Dorgy, under our capitalist system anybody can become rich. Dogbert: Inheritance and crime are the most popular methods. Dorgy: Which is preferred method? Dogbert: It's best to have your parents do the crime and let you inherit it.