Billions Comic Strips
12 Results for Billions
View 1 - 10 results for billions comic strips. Discover the best "Billions" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dogbert walks away from the mailbox holding a letter. He says, "Ha ha ha! My scheme to conquer earth is right on track!" Dilbert sits at a desk working on a device. Dogbert enters the room and announces, "I've been approved for a Macy's credit card!" Dogbert says, "I'll use this credit history to apply for Visa and Mastercard." Dogbert continues, "Soon I'll have credit cards from every bank in the world." Dogbert continues, "Then I'll do a cash advance on every card, netting billions to form a worldwide lottery prize." Dogbert continues, "And everybody who supports me as supreme ruler of earth gets one free lottery ticket." Dilbert says, "You know, most dogs would be delighted just to get a nice chew-toy."
Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. He says, "We've identified the people who will create the system to develop a product process." Dilbert points at a newspaper and continues, "While we were doing that, our competitor created a new Internet product that added a billion dollars to their stock value." Dilbert says, "Experts attribute the company's success to their 'employee of the week' program." The Boss says, "Quick! Hire those experts!"
Dilbert is on his home sofa in his bathrobe with his feet on the table. Dogbert is next to him. From the T.V. we hear: "DogbertMD.com had a successful IPO today, netting billions for Dogbert." From the T.V.: "The company has no profit now and expects no profit later." From the T.V.: "The company issued a press release that says, "Neener neener. Profits are for losers." Dilbert says:"Succinct"
Dilbert is sitting on the couch reading a book. Dogbert approaches and says, "I sold my stock and made billions before driving my company into bankruptcy." Dogbert dances and says, "Now I do the Weasel Dance." Hoo-ah! Yee-ha! Woo- woo-woo!" Dogbert stops and asks, "Would it kill you to clap and sing along?"
The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Can you summarize this on one page for our CEO?" Dilbert responds, "Yes, but it will obliterate the persuasiveness of the document and cost us billions in lost opportunity." The Boss responds, "I see your point, but being wordy is bad, too."
CHIPS "Hello Dogbert. I am here to persuade you to give your billions to third world countries." "If guilt does not work, I am prepared to wrestle you for it." "How's your decoy working out?" "He's got Bono in a headlock."
"You're always complaining about the management of your company so I decided to do something about it." "I used my billions to buy your company!" "You're going to fix management?" "No, I just wanted to stop all the whining. You're fired."
"With your billions of dollars, I don't understand why you live here?" "I don't. I live in an underground city of interconnected palaces. The elevator is in your linen closet." "We billionaires only come topside to take your coffee and your women." "Hola, Dogbert." "Oh."
You thought up your search engine idea before we fired you. That means my company owns it. "That's why I used the lawyerpult to hurl our attorney onto you." "Now I'm using the holograph device you invented. That thing is making us billions." "GAAA!!!"
CEO: We've decided to write off 47 billion dollars in bad loans. You might think this is my fault, but in actuality it is all caused by poor regulatory oversight. Who is in favor of those guys taking a big pay cut? Anyone?"