Candy Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

15 Results for Candy

View 1 - 10 results for candy comic strips. Discover the best "Candy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bring strangers in, #test product, #strangers are stupid, #good candy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert and a man with an eye patch sit at a conference table. The man says, "Sure, we could bring some strangers in to test out product for ease of use . . ." The man continues, "But that could take all afternoon and cost at least a hundred dollars." The man continues, "And all it proves is strangers are stupid." The Boss says, "Sometimes they have good candy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1995's comic on:


Tags #open door policy, #new vp, #drop in, #last vp was aloof, #sourballs, #furniture, #cubicles are hot, #huge insincere spider

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally stands behind him and says, "Our new VP says he has an 'open door policy.' Let's check it out." Wally and Dilbert peer into the VP's office. Dilbert says, "Knock knock." Dilbert says, "Hi ho. Nothing important. We just wanted to drop in." The VP sits at his desk reading a document. Wally says, "This open door policy is great. Our last VP was aloof." Dilbert asks, "Are those sourballs?" Wally says, "Look at the furniture in here!" Dilbert stuffs candy into his mouth and says, "I call couch!" The VP asks, "Is there something I can do for you?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Well . . . Sometimes our cubicles are too hot." Wally sits in a chair and adds, "Could you have somebody look into it?" Dilbert and Wally leave the office looking frightened. Dilbert says, "Boy, those sourballs sure lull you into a false sense of security." Wally says, "The man is like a huge insincere spider."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 03, 1996's comic on:


Tags #chocolate bar, #smell, #wallet, #impatience

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in line at a cash register. He thinks, "Mmm . . . Soon you will be mine, little chocolate bar." The customer ahead of him says, "I think I have exact change." Dilbert smells the candy bar and thinks, "I can smell it through the wrapper." The woman reaches into her purse and says, "Here's a nickel." Dilbert thinks, "I rub it on my arm to get the total body experience." The woman looks into her pocketbook and says, "No, that's a breath mint." Dilbert holds the candy bar over his head and thinks, "I am transported to another dimension." The woman says, "Ooh, a roll of pennies . . . No, lipstick." Dilbert looks at the woman as she says, "I'll give you a check. Where's that checkbook?" Dilbert snatches the woman's purse. Dilbert stomps on the purse while the woman watches. Dilbert stands in front of the counter and says, "What a funny day to forget my wallet." The woman clenches her teeth and looks angry.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dental plan, #golden handcuffs, #prickly panties, #retain best employess, #bowl of candy

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Wally, "We try to retain our best employees by giving them 'golden handcuffs.'" Catbert continues saying to Wally, "The rest of you will experience our other program, the one I call 'Prickly Panties.'" Wally, holding a large bowl, says to Dilbert, "Then he gave me a huge bowl of candy." Dilbert, pointing to his computer monitor, says, "Hey, they cut our dental plan again!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2006's comic on:


Tags #the contractor, #dream, #regular employee, #eat candy, #poop emeralds

View Transcript

Transcript

The Contractor "My dream is to one day become a regular employee." "My dream is to eat candy and poop emeralds." "The difference is that I'm halfway successful."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Human resources tells me that you refused to take the random drug test." "I didn't refuse. I literally can't do it because I have a shy bladder. It's a medical condition that 7% of men have." "I hope you will understand." "It's a side effect of the nose candy, right?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Would you like to buy a candy bar for my daughter's school fundraiser?" "No thanks. I'm not hungry." "That's not really the point." "Why would I buy an overpriced candy bar if I didn't plan on eating it right away?" "You'd do it because your coworker asked you to." "That's a reason?" "Yes, it is." "In that case, I'll take one." Five minutes later "Hey, coworker, would you like to buy a half-eaten candy bar?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me as your lobbyist I will convince Switzerland to attack Elbonia." $ "When the war begins, your sales of Kevlar Lederhosen will skyrocket!" "It's not as bad as it sounds. Elbonians believe that if they die fighting a neutral country, their souls get candy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Hey, is that a new candy dish?" "Yes, it is." "GET YOUR HAND AWAY FROM MY @#$% CANDY!" "I love the new candy dish."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ask the intern, #died, #moon shuttle, #sample of dna, #jar, #reincarnate to clone, #jar missing, #needed for candy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I am sad to report that Asok the intern died during a test of our moon shuttle prototype." "Before he left, he put a sample of his DNA in a jar. His plan is to reincarnate into his own clone." "Where's the jar with Asok's DNA?" Carol: "I needed a second candy jar."