Ceo Needs Underling Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

735 Results for Ceo Needs Underling

View 1 - 10 results for ceo needs underling comic strips. Discover the best "Ceo Needs Underling" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #joke, #pun

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert demonstrates the art of puns. Step #1: 'The Set-up.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist." Dilbert says, "Uncle Albert won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemonies. Sadly, he had little time for a social life." The caption says, "Step #2: 'The Delivery' (from outside of swatting range)." Dogbert stands in the doorway and says, "With anemonies like that, who needs friends?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #invention, #Dilbert, #scientist, #earth, #moon, #destroy, #warning label

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #staples, #straightened, #reused, #study it, #vision, #cc

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "And while he had just created undoubtedly the finest memo known to man, still Dilbert felt curiously unfulfilled." Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the memorandum. Dilbert thinks, "Maybe it needs more 'CC's.'" The caption says, "Sadly, not everybody would share Dilbert's vision." Dogbert reads the memo and asks, "Do you really think staples can be straightened and reused?" Dilbert says, "I'm just saying we should study it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #racket, #singing, #greens, #blues, #darned, #depressing, #slept, #ten, #minutes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow playing a guitar. Dilbert asks, "What's all the racket?" Dogbert replies, "I'm singing the 'greens.'" Dilbert asks, "Is that like the 'blues?'" Dogbert replies, "Same beat, just not so darned depressing." Dogbert sings, "Oooh . . . My car needs a tune up and I overslept ten minutes baaabee . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #engineering, #newsletter, #interesting, #pathos, #human, #drama, #Dogbert, #tissues

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to make the engineering newsletter more interesting." Dilbert thinks, "It needs pathos and human drama." Dilbert reads from a printout, "How to cope with the loss of loved data . . ." Dogbert says, "Wait . . . I better get some tissues."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #economy, #mud, #planning, #pigs, #communism, #elbonia, #Political, #capitalism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #corporate, #takeover, #complete, #hostile, #bid, #meowco, #cat, #Food, #company, #efficient, #hassling, #ashamed, #hairball

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a table holding a document. He tells Dilbert, "Plans for the corporate takeover are complete." Dilbert asks, "What corporate takeover?" Dogbert replies, "It's a hostile bid for control of the Meowco Cat Food Company." Dogbert explains, "When I become CEO, I'll order them to add a hairball to every can of cat food." Dogbert chuckles. Dilbert says, "That is cruel and senseless. I'm thoroughly ashamed of you." Dilbert leaves the room. Dogbert sits on the hassock and thinks, "Gee . . . It seems so much more efficient than hassling one cat at a time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frog, #Dogs, #Dogbert, #kiss, #princess, #props, #fool, #lady di, #margaritas, #Dilbert, #love, #witch

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert needs a kiss from a princess to remove the frog curse." Dilbert the Frog says to Dogbert, "It's hopeless . . ." Dogbert opens the closet door and says, "There's one chance, but we'll need some props." Dilbert is wearing a crown and a fake nose. Dilbert asks, "You seriously think this will fool Lady Di?" Dogbert replies, "I'd wait until she's had a few margaritas."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #bob, #dawn, #dinosaurs, #bedroom, #kitchen, #living, #room, #mess, #rex

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur says to Bob, "Our baby still needs a name." Dilbert says, "He's wrecking my living room!!" Dilbert says, "Now he's wrecking my kitchen!!" Bob says, "Names . . . Names . . ." Dilbert says, "He's wrecking my bedroom!!" Bob asks, "How about Rex?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #restroom, #sinks, #thing, #acme, #sink, #motto, #consumerism

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I hate these restroom sinks where you have to keep holding the knob or it shuts off. Who would make such a thing? ACME Sink, Inc. ACME CEO: Remember our motto: "One hand doesn't wash the other."