Clip On Ear Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

69 Results for Clip On Ear

View 1 - 10 results for clip on ear comic strips. Discover the best "Clip On Ear" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #joke, #tuxedo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is getting dressed and Dogbert sits on the bed watching him. Dilbert holds up a cummerbund and says, "I thought I had this tuxedo thing figured out, but what the heck is this?" Dogbert replies, "Oh, that's the kumberbuzle. You wear it on your head like a sweatband." Dogbert continues, "Then you clip your pens and pencils to the kumberbuzle." Dilbert says, "Ah, that explains why the shirt has no pocket."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 1989's comic on:


Tags #lying, #sarcasm, #polite, #momentum

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert who is sitting on the bed, "Do you like my new clip-on necktie?" Dogbert replies, "It's very nice. Good colors, nice pattern. Why, with a tie like that, DON'T be surprised if you get an offer to pose for GQ MAGAZINE!" Dilbert says, "I think you crossed that fine line between polite lying and outright sarcasm." Dogbert replies, "The momentum carried me."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #universe, #parallel universe, #vincent van gogh, #ear, #beliefs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Did I ever tell you what dogs believe about the universe?" Dogbert explains, "We believe in infinite parallel universes, all slightly different." Dogbert continues, "For example, in our universe, Vincent Van Gogh cut his ear off to demonstrate his love for a woman." Dogbert continues, "But, in a parallel universe, Van Gogh loses the ear in a tragic toe-nail clipping accident . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . Vinnie clips the nail, and it just goes flyin' up and rips his ear clean off." Dilbert says, "In yet another universe, maybe he had a dog who talked his ear off." Dogbert replies, "This is why dogs rarely discuss their beliefs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #secretary, #department, #image, #problem, #crush, #paper clip, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

A man asks Dilbert, "How's the new secretary for the department working out?" Dilbert replies, "I think he's having a self-image problem." The secretary sits at his desk and says, "Sure, I'm a secretary, but watch me crush this paper clip!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 1990's comic on:


Tags #armchair, #computer, #Dilbert, #phone, #pounds, #release, #skiis, #alpine ski machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching television. An announcer says, ". . . A revolutionary fitness discovery!" The announcer continues, "Melt pounds away with the 'Alpine Ski Machine.'" The announcer concludes, "No exercise required." Dilbert leaves the chair. Dilbert holds the telephone to his ear as the announcer says, "Dial 1-800 . . ." Dilbert accepts a package delivery. Dilbert stands in a pair of skis. He thinks, "I can't imagine how this melts away the pounds." Dilbert bends over and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I can't reach the release." Dilbert reaches for the refrigerator but the skis lock his feet in place.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #feeling, #ear, #enjoy, #sin, #yesterday, #q-tip

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "You know that good feeling you get when you first put a Q-tip in your ear?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah." Dilbert asks, "Can I freely enjoy it, or is it a sin?" Dogbert replies, "I think it's okay." Dilbert says, "Good, because I used a whole box yesterday."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #Food, #fight, #throwing, #potatoes, #ear, #corn, #chowder, #kitchen, #ding-dong, #witch, #dead

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home with food stuck to his suit. Dogbert asks, "How was your lunch with the executive vice president?" Dilbert sits in his chair and says, "Everything was fine until the food fight. He started throwing au gratin potatoes . . . I countered with an ear of corn to his head and ran for the exit." Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "When I left, he was face-down in the clam chowder and the kitchen staff was singing 'ding-dong the witch is dead.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cop, #under, #arrest, #killing, #senior, #executive, #ear, #corn, #self-defense

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert opens the door. A police officer points a gun at him and says, "You're under arrest for killing a senior executive of your company with an ear of corn." As the officer frisks him, beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's head and he cries, "It . . . It was self-defense! HE started the food fight! I had just seasoned my corn . . . It was in my hand . . . It was just a reflex!!" The officer says, "The charge is 'a salt and buttering with intent to kill.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #corn, #ear, #lunch, #believe, #jail, #cell mate, #meal

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in a prison cell with a large man. The man asks, "What are you in for?" Dilbert replies, "I killed a man with an ear of corn. But I was provoked." A guard hands a tray of food into the cell and Dilbert says, "Hey, look! Corn for lunch. Can you believe that?" His cellmate looks frightened.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #garbage, #man, #stand, #legal, #kill, #ear, #corntwo, #conditions, #victim, #witch, #poodle

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of the judge's bench and says, "I call my garbage man to the stand, because he knows everything." The garbage man sits in the witness stand and says, "According to the Iowa Corn Treaty of 1837, it is LEGAL to kill a man with an ear of corn under two conditions . . ." The garbage man continues, "One: if the victim is a witch or two: if he owns a poodle." Dogbert says, "For my next witness, I call 'Fifi.'"