Closed Dorr Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

28 Results for Closed Dorr

View 1 - 10 results for closed dorr comic strips. Discover the best "Closed Dorr" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #social anxiety, #fire alarm, #manners, #grins

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hallway thinking, "Oh, crap. This is the third time today that I will walk by this same guy in the hall. I barely know him." Dilbert continues thinking, "This is so awkward. The first time, I said 'hello.' The second time we both made those closed-mouth grins and arched our eyebrows. What do I do the third time?" Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So I pulled the fire alarm." Dogbert says, "I don't think Miss Manners is gonna back you on this one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #school, #self-service, #gas, #station, #attendants, #teaching, #section, #refolding, #maps, #frustrating, #paper cuts, #minor, #panic, #sweat the room

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk and says to Dogbert, "I heard you closed your school for self-service gas station attendants." Dogbert says, "It didn't work out." Dogbert continues, "I was teaching the section on refolding maps . . . Frustrations were high . . . At first, the paper cuts were minor, but panic swept the room." Dilbert asks, "Well, how bad could . . ." Dogbert says, "They're all dead . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #company, #dehumanize, #employees, #identification, #badges, #symbolizes, #cafeteria, #alfalfa

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "I'm proud to announce that the company has found yet another way to dehumanize the employees." The Boss continues, "From now on you will wear identification badges at work. This symbolizes that people who look like you are often criminals." The Boss adds, "Oh . . . And the cafeteria is closed. We'll just lay down some alfalfa in the break room."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #converstaion, #Dilbert, #faking through, #velcro works, #block oxygen, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert teaches math, #cut staff, #bonus worth, #expense requiremnets, #calculated, #budget, #multiply by one, #doctor, #flashlight, #projections come from, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert teaches business math." Dogbert points to a diagram of an equation. A picture of Wally, Dilbert and Alice illustrates the equation, "Grunts equals zero." The caption says, "#1. Any job that can be done by two people . . ." The Boss stands behind two people. The caption continues, ". . . Can be done by one person for half the cost." The Boss yanks one of the workers out of his chair. The caption says, "#2. A bonus today is worth more than . . ." The Boss holds a large bag of money. The caption continues, ". . . The whole company tomorrow." An office building has a closed sign on it. The caption says, "#3. Your expense requirements for December can be calculated . . ." The Boss sits at his desk writing on a piece of paper. The caption continues, ". . . By taking what's left in the budget and multiplying by one." A delivery person asks the Boss, "Giraffe goes where?" Dogbert says, "Next week, a doctor with a flashlight shows us where sales projections come from."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #another closed door, #meeting, #pay cuts, #layoffs, #resume, #leadership vsion, #inspire employees, #action, #upgardes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and a woman walk by Dilbert's cubicle holding folders. Leaning back in his chair to look out of the cubicle, Dilbert thinks, "Uh-Oh . . . the managers are going to another closed-door meeting." Dilbert thinks, "It must be about pay cuts or layoffs. I'm doomed. I'd better work on my resume NOW." He pulls nervously at his tie, his hair stands on end and beads of sweat fly from his forehead. The Boss sits around a conference table with three other managers. Reading from a document, he says, "Okay, so far our 'leadership vision' says 'we inspire employees to action.' Does anybody have upgrades?" Another man responds, "Nah."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #beard, #close my eyes, #crazy beard, #new boss, #pet emplyee, #spin chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted, Alice and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "As your new boss I have yet to select my 'pet' employee. I shall do this by closing my eyes and pointing the beard on my forehead." Ted sits facing away from the table with his eyes closed. He says, "To make it fair, I'll close my eyes while one of you spins my chair!" As Alice pushes Ted's chair into the stairwell Dilbert whispers, "Alice . . . Um . . . Technically this isn't 'spinning.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #serious threat, #competitors, #consultants, #eat our lunch, #executive comapny, #hired security guard, #lunches, #safe, #figure of speech, #better than usuaal, #cafeteria

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands next to an overhead projector and says, "Last week our consultants warned us about a serious threat." The Boss continues, "They said our competitors would 'eat our lunch.'" The Boss continues, "I'm happy to tell the executive committee that I leapt into action." The Boss continues, "I hired a security guard to protect the cafeteria." The Boss concludes, "Our lunches are safe." An executive says to another, "I always thought that was just a figure of speech." The woman replies, "Fool! Give me your department!" One executive shouts, "Let go of my hair!!" One of them slaps the other and someone shouts, "Ouch!!" The Boss thinks, "This is going better than usual." Dilbert asks a security guard, "Why is the cafeteria closed?" The guard replies, "Someone ate all the lunches." He burps.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ambiguity, #another situation, #irrational concerns, #headphones, #pretend to listen

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points at an overhead projection. The Boss says, "That's the plan. Now I will pretend to listen to your irrational concerns." The Boss puts on headphones. The boss says, "Go!" Dilbert and Wally look at the boss who has closed his eyes and leaned back, listening to music. Dilbert says, "This is another situation wear ambiguity would be better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #barger, #closed dorr, #curse, #intense enrgy, #new hire, #not a knocker, #pushes

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina charges down the hallway pushing people out of her way. Tina says, "Get out of my way, weaklings!" Tina stands in front of the boss' closed door. Tina screams, "This closed door can't stop me! I'll curse it off its #%@!! hinges!" Ann stands on top of the boss's door which has fallen into the Boss's office. There is a person flattened beneath it. The boss looks shocked. The Boss says, "You could have knocked." Ann says, "I'm a barger, not a knocker."