Corner Comic Strips
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Dilbert sits at his desk writing a poem. Dogbert approaches and asks, "How's that poem coming?" Dilbert says, "Pretty good, but I may have written myself into a corner." Dogbert says, "Let's hear." Dilbert says, "All I have so far is 'Her love was like a wave-division multiplexor.'" Dogbert says, "Maybe just go for the big finish."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed my computer to analyze any situation and predict the female response." Dilbert continues, "This should clarify a few things." Dilbert continues, "I'll type in 'watch sad movie.'" Dilbert says, "Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Now I'll try 'receive flowers.' Result: crying." Dilbert says, "Let's try 'date with Dilbert.' Result: crying." Dogbert says, "Boy, the truth gets vicious when you corner it."
Dilbert stands in a hole and says to Dogbert, "Clyde Canyon looked a lot bigger on the travel brochure." Dilbert continues, "I wonder if an optimist would say this canyon is half full or half empty?" Dogbert replies, "Half baked." Dilbert points at a corner of the hole and says, "We can establish a base camp over here."
A man tells the Boss, "You should have seen that fish . . ." The Boss holds his arms out and says, "That's nothing, compared to the fish I . . ." Dilbert walks around the corner. The Boss says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert sees his outstretched arms and thinks, "He wants to hug me. That's strange. Okay, I'm a Nineties guy." Dilbert hugs him and says, "Hi, Boss." The Boss and the other man look shocked. Dilbert thinks, "Now I'll have to hug this guy so it doesn't seem awkward." Dilbert hugs the man and says, "Hi, it's a pleasure to meet you." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'm glad we've outgrown the uptight Eighties."
Dogbert walks past a man in a trench coat standing on a street corner. The man says, "Psst . . ." The secret agent asks, "Want to buy a nuclear bomb?" Dogbert asks, "How much?" The man replies, "Twenty bucks." Dogbert says, "Deal." Dogbert hands over the money and asks, "Does the government know about this?" The man replies, "I am the government." The man says, "It's the only way we could agree on to reduce the national debt . . . You wouldn't believe how many of these things we have." Dogbert walks down the sidewalk carrying his bomb. Several other people on the street are also carrying bombs. Dogbert thinks, "I'm glad I got mine before some liberal has a hissy fit."
Two men form a picket line in front of a movie theater showing a movie titled, "Hands of Death." Dogbert walks around the corner. Dogbert asks one of the men holding a sign, "Why are you protesting against this movie?" The man replies, "It portrays red heads as hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert asks, "How many red heads are in the movie?" The man replies, "One. But the point is, red heads don't fit their stereotype of being hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert says, "Actually, ignorance was never a stereotype of red heads until you brought it up here." The man yells at the other protester, "Sean, you idiot! I told you!" Sean replies, "Shut up, Dennis! I'll pound you to a pulp!!" As they fight each other, Dogbert adds, "And 'boycott' is spelled with a double 'T.'"
The Boss sits at his desk thinking, "Uh-oh . . . I smell a creative idea being formed somewhere in the building." The Boss sniffs the air. The Boss sits in a window in the top floor of an office building. He thinks, "I must find it and crush it." Dilbert and a man stand in front of a suggestion box while the Boss hides around the corner. Dilbert says, "Hey, this is new." The man says, "It's a trap!!"
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.
Dogbert sits at a desk in front a window thinking, "I've shouted my way into a job and a corner office. Now I need an empire." Dogbert says as he types, "I'll start a task force around some hot buzzwords. Later I'll convert the people into my own division." Dilbert says to Wally, "Hey, there's a 'Palmtop Personal Multimedia' task force being formed!" Wally replies, "That one's gonna fill up quick."
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss peers around the corner and says, "Congratulations!" The Boss continues, "You've been named 'floor warden.'" The Boss explains, "In the event of a fire we'll rely on your leadership to get us out safely." Dilbert says, "Let me see if I understand this . . ." Dilbert continues, "YOU're the leader when it involves uninformed decisions in return for huge stock options." Dilbert continues, "But I'M the leader when it comes to rishing death in a highrise inferno while you scramble over the ashen backs of fallen co-workers." Dilbert asks, "What makes you think your life is worth more than mine?" The Boss replies, "I've got stock options and you're a floor warden." Dilbert says, "Don't expect any CPR."