Created Mindless Replica Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

91 Results for Created Mindless Replica

View 1 - 10 results for created mindless replica comic strips. Discover the best "Created Mindless Replica" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #hair, #invention, #shirt, #pocket

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #news, #newspaper, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert holds up a newspaper and says to Dilbert, "Look! I've created the world's first completely reusable newspaper." Dilbert reads from the newspaper, "Pope denounces violence . . . Home prices rise . . . Unrest in the Mideast . . ." Dogbert says, "Generic news!" Dilbert reaches into his pocket and asks, "How much?" Dogbert holds out his paw and says, "A thousand bucks. You'll never need another one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #robot dog, #devil, #master, #invention

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, "What do you mean you built a robot dog?!! You can't replace me!!" Dilbert says, "Calm down Dogbert." A robot dog comes up behind Dogbert and barks. Dogbert jumps and yells, "Aaaghh!! The devil dog! Help! Help!" The robot dog stands on his hind legs and says, "I was created to serve your every need, Master Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Okay, he can stay. But you owe me one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #staples, #straightened, #reused, #study it, #vision, #cc

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "And while he had just created undoubtedly the finest memo known to man, still Dilbert felt curiously unfulfilled." Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the memorandum. Dilbert thinks, "Maybe it needs more 'CC's.'" The caption says, "Sadly, not everybody would share Dilbert's vision." Dogbert reads the memo and asks, "Do you really think staples can be straightened and reused?" Dilbert says, "I'm just saying we should study it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #name, #deserve, #wrong, #world, #created, #ruebert, #robot, #spell

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a robot sit at the table. Dogbert says, "We need a name for you." The robot replies, "I don't deserve a name." The robot continues, "Everything that's wrong with the world is my fault. I rue the day I was created." Dogbert says, "I name you 'Ruebert.'" The robot replies, "Aaagh! People will spell it wrong and it's my fault!!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nation's, #founding fathers, #motives, #running, #president, #slave owners, #democratic, #ignorance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "I think the nation's founding fathers would be ashamed of your motives for running for President." Dogbert asks, "Weren't they slave owners?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . Sure, but at least it was democratic." Dogbert says, "Back then, the only people allowed to vote were white male land owners." Dogbert continues as Dilbert walks away, "In fact, the presidency was created so the ignorant masses would think there was a king." Dilbert covers his ears and says, "La la la la la la la la."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #assist me, #cartoonists disclaimer, #cucumber mutants, #disclaimer, #not funny, #quite a pickle, #world domination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I created you cucumber mutants to assist me in my bid for world domination! Bulletin I interrupt this strip because the whole giant cucumber theme isn't as fun as I thought it would be. lets go directly to the big finish. scott DOGBERT: Then Waldo grabbed the "salad shooter" there were peels everywhere! Dilbert: sounds like quite a pickle.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #mathematical proof god, #smartest garbageman, #transposed varaiables, #proves existence of dog, #you exist, #error, #hear something

View Transcript

Transcript

"Dogbert! Come here! I've done it!" "I created a mathematical proof of the existence of God!" "Give it to me." "This is a job for the world's smartest garbage man." "What can I do for you, Dogbert?" "Check this math." "Clever...but he transposed some variables. This proves the existence of his dog." "Now we know YOU exist and I must exist because 'I think, therefore I am'." "But since Dilbert wasn't thinking when he made his error, there's no proof that HE exists." "Hey!" "Did you just hear something, Dogbert?" "There's no way to be sure."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #algorithim, #higest salries, #overstatement, #reduce headcount, #scientific algorithm, #who goes

View Transcript

Transcript

"I've been asked to reduce headcount." "To be fair about it I created a scientific algorithm to decide who goes." "I thought you were firing the people with the highest salaries." "Okay, maybe 'algorithm' is an overstatement."