Culture Of Consulting Fiorms Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

93 Results for Culture Of Consulting Fiorms

View 1 - 10 results for culture of consulting fiorms comic strips. Discover the best "Culture Of Consulting Fiorms" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #consulting, #job, #questioning, #employees, #underpaid, #problems, #fault, #lard, #head

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #pop, #psychologist, #lecture, #video, #makeover, #pop culture, #madonna

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from a desk and says, "I've decided to become a pop psychologist. I need your help to make my lecture video." A man in sunglasses replies, "You came to the right place, babe. First, you need a new look." Dogbert is wearing a pony tail of false hair and a pointed brassiere. Dogbert says, "Nice try, but frankly, this look didn't work too well for Madonna either."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #quality, #brainwashed, #transformed, #fabric, #corporate, #culture, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and the other employees walk around the office as if in a trance, saying, "Quality . . . Quality . . . Quality . . ." The Boss thinks, "It's working. All the employees are brainwashed." The Boss yells, "I've done it! I've transformed the very fabric of the corporate culture!" Dilbert says to Wally, "Things sure have changed around here." Wally replies, "Yeah, for example, my arms are tired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #business consulting, #pyschic

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk wearing a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "I am Dogbert the Psychic Business Consultant. I can read minds." The Boss asks, "If you can read minds, what's my favorite color?" Dogbert replies, "Your favorite color is puce, but you are mistakenly thinking of a primary color because you don't know what puce is." The Boss says, "Whoa . . . I just got a shiver."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #Wally, #pyschic, #business consulting, #computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the Boss, "I sense death . . ." Dogbert and the Boss stand behind Wally's desk. Dogbert says, "It's coming from here. Yes, he's definitely dead." Dogbert says to the Boss, "You should bury him. He already smells bad." Wally says, "I'll bet this isn't heaven."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #elbonia, #elbonian men, #Dilbert, #management, #business consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #communication, #management, #office culture

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tells Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "What we need is more communication between management and . . . Whatever you are." The Boss continues, "So, once a month I'll have 'open door day.'" The Boss explains, "You can drop by and whine about anything you want." The Boss continues, "I'll listen with a concerned expression like this." The Boss continues, "Then I'll explain why everything is fine just the way it is." The Boss continues, "Then, morale will improve, profits will skyrocket and my stock options will make me RICH!! Dilbert says, "May I make some observations about your plan?" Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Forget it." The Boss asks, "Do you notice how concerned I look?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #management, #consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk next to a large binder. Dogbert says, "Here's my consulting report on your company." Dogbert says, "I had no insights so I bulked it up by adding witty analogies." The Boss reads, "His head was like a hollow putty ball attacked by two pointy dust bunnies." Dogbert asks, "Vivid, isn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #consulting company, #new course, #business, #extra brains, #liver, #ratbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert Consulting Company will plot a new course for your business. My consultants are so smart that their brains don't fit in their heads, They have to start the extra brains to their torsos. Ratbert: why do I need a piece of liver strapped to my torso? Dogbert: I got a little carried away at the pitch meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."