Dig Swimming Pool Comic Strips

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43 Results for Dig Swimming Pool

View 1 - 10 results for dig swimming pool comic strips. Discover the best "Dig Swimming Pool" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hair, #invention, #shirt, #pocket

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Dogbert sits at a desk working with scissors and Velcro. He says, "There . . . perfect." Dilbert asks, "What's that, Dogbert?" Dogbert answers, "I've created the Velcro shirt pocket! It attaches to your chest hairs while swimming or showering." Dilbert looks at the pocket and says, "Hmm . . . might work." Dogbert says, "You may also be interested in my new Velcro chest hair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fashion, #suit

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Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #overused phrases, #wednesday, #swimming, #jokes

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Dilbert: One more adjustment and my trans-dimensional radio will be complete. Man: Welcome to the land of overused phrases. Man 2: Boy, they let any-body in here. Dilbert: Uh... Hi, how are you? Both Men: Not bad for a Wednesday! Man 1: Let me give you the tencent tour. Man 2: OUch! I"ll just walk on the bottoms. Dogbert: You know, swimming is the best form of exercise. Both Men: The chosen one!! Dogbert: Nah. I'm just pulling your legs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #security system, #pool, #catapult, #invention, #fate

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Dilbert taps on the doorstep with a spade. He tells Dogbert, "My new security system is now installed." Dogbert asks, "How's it work?" Dilbert explains, "I buried a giant spring under the welcome mat to catapult any undesirables into the Wilsey's pool three blocks from here." Dilbert continues, "You just tap that little button on the floor there . . ." The caption says, "Time stands still as Dogbert ponders the gift that fate has given him." Dogbert stares at the launch button while Dilbert stands on the welcome mat. Dogbert reaches for the button and says, "I'm pretty sure the look on his face will be worth whatever minor guilt I feel over this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dress, #flattery, #Dilbert, #dish, #cloth, #ordinary, #fashionable, #dropped, #jello, #shoes, #wipe, #up, #compliment, #gracefully

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the woman, "I like your dress." He thinks, "Women love flattery." Dilbert says, "It reminds me of my favorite dish cloth." He thinks, "Uh-oh . . . Wrong thing to say." Dilbert says, "Of course, I'm not talking about an ORDINARY dish cloth." Dilbert thinks, "Dig, dig . . ." Dilbert continues, "I'm talking about a truly fashionable dish cloth here . . . In fact, if I dropped Jello on my shoes I'd leave it there all day rather than use your dress to wipe it up." The woman overturns the table, wraps the tablecloth around Dilbert's head and leaves. Dilbert lies on the floor and says, "Some women just don't know how to accept a compliment gracefully."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #wild, #deer, #cloned, #Dogbert, #pool, #money, #ground

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Hi . . . Uh, why am I naked and sitting in a garbage can?" Dogbert replies, "Either you were killed by wild deer and we cloned you back to life from your old garbage . . . Or . . ." Dilbert says, "I hope I like the second choice." Dogbert says, ". . . Or you saved a lot of money on an above-ground pool."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #dawn, #dinosaurs, #dirt, #hole

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Bob the Dinosaur opens the closet door and says to Dawn, "I'll make a room for the baby by digging a cavern under Dilbert's closet." Dawn stands behind Bob holding an egg. Dawn asks, "Where will you put all the dirt?" Bob replies, "Obviously I'll have to dig a second hole to hold all the dirt."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #japanese model, #copy best practices, #long term investing, #boss sings shaft

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss says, "We've studied the Japanese model and decided to copy their best practices." Dilbert says, "Long term investing?" The Boss holds up a microphone and yells, "Karaoke!" The Boss stands on the table and sings, "Shaft! Can you dig it?" Dilbert looks at the reader and says, "Thank God we don't have lifetime employment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #late, #makeup on, #in car, #save in car, #sponge bath, #carpool, #whining, #driver for car pool

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Alice walks in carrying a briefcase and sees Wally and Dilbert drinking coffee. Alice says, "I was so late I had to put on my makeup in the car." Dilbert says, "Yeah, I had to shave in the car." Wally says, "That's nothing. I was so late that I had to give myself a sponge bath in the car." Alice looks shocked and asks, "Aren't you the driver for your carpool?" Wally responds, "You've never heard such whining."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #layoffs, #mobility pool, #run around, #finding job, #internal job, #ax falls, #layoffs dignified, #nonexistent job

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The Boss and Wally sit at a table. The Boss says, "We don't do 'layoffs' at this company. But you HAVE been selected to participate in our mobility pool!" The Boss explains, "As the name implies, you get to scurry around trying to find a nonexistent internal job before the ax falls." Wally asks, "How's this different from a layoff?" The Boss replies, "With layoffs you get to keep your dignity."