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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #economic policy, #Opinion

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert reads the newspaper and asks, "What do you think about this new Soviet policy of openness?" Dogbert replies, "Actually, I'm not even sure that Gorbachev exists." Dogbert continues, "Guess I'm just kinda 'glasnostic.'" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't let you drink coffee."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #cashier, #celebration dance

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Dilbert walks through the cafeteria holding a tray of food. Dilbert thinks, "Oh no, not this cashier again. She always hands back my change right over my soda. I just know she's trying to make me drop a dime in my drink." Dilbert stands at the cashier and waves his hand over his drink saying, "No! No! No!" The cashier thinks, "Fake left . . ." Dilbert says as he eats his lunch, "It's not the coins in the soda that get me; it's that darned celebration dance she does."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stooges, #curly, #Lottery, #millionaires, #drinking, #drink

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Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, ". . . Therefore, Curly must have been the smartest of all the Stooges." The telephone rings. Dilbert answers the phone and shouts, "I won WHAT?!!" Dilbert picks up Dogbert and cries, "I won the lottery! We're millionaires, Dogbert!!" Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door to a news reporter and a television camera. The reporter says, "Global News - may I interview you on your sudden wealth?" The reporter shoves a microphone in Dilbert's face and asks, "What would you like to say to the entire planet?" The caption says, "The wealth had come quickly . . ." Dilbert stammers, "Er . . . Um . . ." The caption says, "And just as quickly, it was gone." Dilbert says into the microphone, "Drinks for everybody!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 27, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #guard, #teeth, #bullet, #drink, #toilet

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Remember, one of your duties as dog is to guard the house." Dilbert continues, "That might entail ripping intruders to bits with your teeth . . . Or taking a bullet for me." Dogbert replies, "Boy, all that and I get to drink out of the toilet too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #michael, #microchip, #coffee, #killed, #all, #consumerism

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Dilbert gets sucked into his computer. Dilbert: You.. You're a microchip... Michael: I am. C'mon in and have some coffee. Dilbert: Chips drink coffee? Michael: Gallons. It keeps us fast. Dilbert: Doesn't that make you irritable with the other microchips? Michael: Not since I killed them all.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #eye, #contact, #uncontrollable, #urge, #blink, #twnety, #times

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who makes eye contact." Dilbert thinks, "Uh no . . . Uncontrollable urge to look away . . . I've got to blink about twenty times. Why did she have to bring that up?" Dilbert covers his eyes, screams, knocks his drink over and blinks repeatedly. The woman turns to the reader and says, "I love doing that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #susceptible, #peer, #pressure, #brewski, #rats, #beer, #hurting, #animals, #doctor

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A scientist points to a cage and says, "Here we have a lab rat, specially bred to be susceptible to peer pressure." The scientist holds out a beer and asks the rat, "How about a brewski?" The rat replies, "I don't drink." The scientist says, "All the cool rats drink beer." The rat replies, "Okay." The professor says, "Of course, there's more to science than just hurting animals, but frankly it's the part I like best." The rat lies on his back drinking the beer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #brochure, #water, #beautiful, #smart, #healthy

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Here's a brochure for my new miracle mineral water spa." Dilbert reads the pamphlet and says, "You claim that the water at our house will make people smart, beautiful and healthy." Dogbert says, "If anybody asks, tell then you don't drink water."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #gravity, #formula, #drink, #fly, #famous, #people, #shower, #praise, #admiration, #attention, #pathetic, #bid, #Dogbert

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Dilbert sits at a table and yells as a test tube flies out of his hands, "It works!! My anti-gravity formula works!!!" Dilbert continues, "If I drink it, I'll be able to fly! I'll be famous. People will shower me with praise and admiration!!" Dilbert sits on the wall over the television and says to Dogbert, "Notice anything?" Dogbert replies, "A pathetic bid for attention?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #fanfare, #sorrowful, #friends, #bye, #lab

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Ratbert says, "I must get back to the lab now. But please, no long goodbyes, or parting gifts, or fanfare." Ratbert continues, "Nay, let us simply drink in the richness of this beautiful yet sorrowful moment. Two friends who . . ." Dogbert interrupts, "'Bye." Ratbert says, "That's what I meant to say: 'bye."