Employees Quit Comic Strips
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View 1 - 10 results for employees quit comic strips. Discover the best "Employees Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share March 03, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."
Share November 01, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and sees Dogbert sitting on the floor in an empty room. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, where's all of our furniture?!!" Dogbert replies, "Your new cleaning person loaded it into his van and drove away . . . Oh, and he said to tell you he quit." Dilbert says, "I think we need to review your job description as watchdog." Dogbert points to the wall and says, "I got his address." The cleaning person wrote on the wall "Send my check to," followed by his address.
Share November 08, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a conference table with three people from marketing. A woman says, "Maybe Dilbert can explain to the marketing people how the system works." Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . So the electrons alter the data bits . . . And then they go to the virtual array where they conflugalize. Got it?" The woman asks, "How many of those words did you just make up?" Dilbert thinks, "They're on to me."
Share January 26, 1991's comic on:
The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."
Share February 07, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway holding coffee cups. Wally says, "I'm thinking of quitting and becoming an entrepreneur." Wally continues, "I want to experience life on the edge, full of risk and challenge and adventure!" Dilbert says, "The company stops paying you if you quit." Wally responds, "Oh, then never mind."
Share March 07, 1991's comic on:
The caption says, "Day one: Dogbert's School for Self-Service Gas Station Attendants." A student raises his hand and says, "Question." The man asks, "Do service station employees qualify for military benefits?" Dogbert replies, "I don't think so." The man asks, "Can we fool women with these uniforms?"
Share June 04, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert and the Boss walk out of the Boss's office. Dogbert says, "My fee for business consulting is $200 an hour." The Boss says, "Fair enough." Dogbert says, "I'll spend the day questioning your employees to identify problem areas." Later that day, Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert reads a document and says, "It's unanimous. They're underpaid and all the problems are your fault, 'Lard Head.'"
Share August 17, 1991's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."
Share September 02, 1991's comic on:
The Boss: Dilbert, this is your new co-worker, Floyd Remora. Floyd has worked here for twenty years without developing any skills. He survives by attaching himself to other employees. Dilbert: Go ahead... Ask me how my day went.
Share November 08, 1991's comic on:
A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"