Endless Stories Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

49 Results for Endless Stories

View 1 - 10 results for endless stories comic strips. Discover the best "Endless Stories" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #punish, #man, #robbed, #house, #justice, #suffer, #stories

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Dogbert, we must become vigilantes and punish the man who robbed our house!!" Dilbert continues, "It's not justice we seek, it's REVENGE!!!" Dilbert says, "We must make him suffer." Dogbert replies, "Tell him one of your stories about work."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #star, #lies, #money, #lawsuits, #angry, #tabloid, #devoted, #computer, #online

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own tabloid newspaper, the 'Dogbert Star.'" Dogbert explains, "All of the stories will be sensational lies about me . . . That way I'll save money on lawsuits." Dogbert types, "An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid devoted entirely to himself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #television, #network, #reports, #stories, #Games, #yesterday, #millionaires, #problems, #darryl, #brain, #crime

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "I'm going to start up a television news network that only reports happy stories." Dogbert sits at a news desk and says, "In sports, fifty percent of the teams won their games yesterday and all the players are millionaires - most of whom have no serious drug problems." Dogbert continues, "Our person of the week is Darryl, who, despite his tiny brain, found success through a life of crime." In the corner of the tv screen there is a picture of a man holding a bag of money and hugging a woman in front of a palm tree.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #project leader, #dogcart consulting, #shall do bidding, #endless variety, #expediations, #slab of liver, #external brain pack, #career low

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm the project leader for the Dogbert Consulting Company. You simple employees shall do my bidding." "I'll be sending you on an endless variety of data-gathering expeditions. That will keep you busy while I do the thinking." "By the way, this may look like a slab of liver but it's an external brain pack." "My career just reached an all time low."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #voicemail, #Wally, #simple incompetence, #preview, #sinister, #defensive strategy, #incomplete answers, #over worked, #irrational, #asking questions, #recount war stories, #thwart me, #team up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to Wally's desk and says, "Wally, you never really answered the question I left on your voicemail." Dilbert asks, "Is this a case of simple incompetence or a preview of something far more sinster?" Wally replies, "It's the sinister one." Wally explains, "I've adopted a defensive strategy. I'm withholding information to make myself appear more valuable." Wally continues, "Now I only return phone calls late at night and leave incomplete answers." Wally continues, "In person, I act overworked and irrational so people stop asking questions." Wally continues, "If cornered, I sigh deeply and recount old war stories that don't relate to the question." Wally concludes, "No co-worker can thwart me!" Dilbert asks, "What if they team up?" Behind Wally's back, Alice reaches over the wall and grabs Wally's CPU. She thinks, "Got it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 1996's comic on:


Tags #strategic allaince, #technical skill, #endless supply, #resistance is futile, #assimilated

View Transcript

Transcript

A man with a goatee and a woman with spiked hair who's wearing a tube top enter a room with Dilbert. The man says, "Our strategic alliance is working well. My company provides amazing technical skill and your company . . ." The man continues, ". . . Has a seemingly endless supply of three-ring binders." They sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." The woman asks, "Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #be competetive, #carpets, #Catbert, #evil director, #evil policies, #foot sizing program, #no compalints, #reduce wear and tear, #tail twitching, #wear shoes smaller

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands at his desk thinking, "My tail is twitching . . ." Catbert thinks, "That can only mean it's time to write some more evil policies." Catbert types, "To: all employees. Subject: new policy." Dilbert gets the e-mail message and reads, "Employees must wear shoes that are one size smaller than their feet." Alice reads, "This will reduce wear and tear on carpets by five percent." Catbert thinks, "This is my favorite part." He types, "We must do this to be competitive." A woman enters Catbert's office and says, "I'm a reporter for 'Evil HR Policies Weekly.' Do you have any success stories?" Catbert purrs. The caption says, "This is how industry practices are born." The journalist asks, "Has anyone complained about the 'Footsizing' program?" Catbert replies, "I haven't listened to a single complaint."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #airport, #gold stories, #change seat, #six hour flight

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "At the airport" The huge, annoying woman spots Dilbert and yells, "Hey, Dilbert! We must be taking the same flight!" Woman says, "I'll change my seat assignment so we can talk for six hours." Dilbert exclaims, "No, no! That's okay!" Dilbert doesn't want to sit by her. Sitting next to each other on the plane, woman says, "These flights can be very long if you don't have someone to listen to your golf stories."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #quality assurance, #stay alive, #million web stories, #weiner dogs

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "They're transfering me to "Quality Assurance," Wally." As Asok gets dragged away by two people he says, "But I'll be back, no matter how long it takes, or how hard! Just stay alive!!" Wally types at his computer and thinks, "Wow. There must be a million sites about wiener dogs."