Enter Profession Comic Strips

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View 1 - 10 results for enter profession comic strips. Discover the best "Enter Profession" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dog, #brain, #animals

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Dilbert and Dogbert enter the laboratory. Dilbert says, "I've decided we should operate along more classic lines, like Dr. Frankenstein's lab." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a stool and asks, "You know what that makes you?" Dogbert replies, "I've got a hunch . . ." Dilbert says, "Let's practice . . ." Dilbert says, "Dogbert, fetch me a brain!" Dogbert asks, "Like your present model, or one that works?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #embarrassment, #restaurant, #fancy

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Dilbert and Dogbert enter a restaurant called "Chez de Whales." Dilbert says, "This is a very fancy place, Dogbert, so don't embarrass me." Dilbert tells the maitre d', "Uh . . . Two please. Non-smoking." The maitre d' replies, "I'm afraid, monsieur, that jackets are required." The maitre d' says, "You may wear these complimentary house jackets while you dine." The maitre d' continues, "You must also wear these beaver hats and clown feet." Dilbert and Dogbert put on the jackets and hats. The maitre d' says, "Next time messieurs will remember their jackets." Dogbert says, "Looks like we narrowly avoided embarrassment."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neal, #kneel, #eatachair

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Dilbert sits on the doorstep with his head in his hands. Dogbert says, "So when your new boss said his name was 'Neal,' you thought he meant K-N-E-E-L . . . So you . . ." Dilbert replies, "Yes . . ." Dogbert rolls on the ground laughing. Dilbert says as they enter the house, "Thank you for understanding." Dogbert says, "Boy, it's a good thing his name isn't something like 'Eatachair.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #renew, #dog, #license, #written, #test

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Let's go . . . It's time to renew your dog license." Dilbert and Dogbert enter the Department of Dogs. Dogbert looks at an exam and thinks, "I wonder what happens if I fail the written test?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #mop-up crew, #shave, #sixty, #percent, #public, #services

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Dilbert sits in an empty room wearing only his underwear. He tells Dogbert, "I always get a warm, satisfied feeling right after paying my taxes." Dilbert continues, "Sure, it's a sacrifice . . . But my money goes to support vital public services." Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door and two men in trenchcoats enter. One man says, "We're the IRS mop-up crew." The man continues, "We came to take your socks and shave sixty percent of your dog." The other man holds an electric razor. One agent shaves Dogbert while the other pulls off Dilbert's socks. Dilbert says, "Remind me to adjust my withholdings for next year."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dawn, #bob, #blessing, #instructions, #national, #geographics, #short

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs enter holding hands. Bob asks, "Can we talk?" Bob, Dawn and Dilbert sit at the table. Bob says, "Dawn and I want to have an egg." Dilbert asks, "And you want my blessing?" Bob says, "We want instructions." Dilbert says, "My 'National Geographics' stop just short . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #radioactive, #dung, #beetle, #Dilbert, #waits, #acquire, #super, #powers

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The caption says, "Bitten by a radioactive dung beetle, Dilbert waits to see if he will acquire any super powers." Dilbert sits on a chair wearing a super hero suit. Dogbert sits next to him. The caption says, "But what kind of powers could you get from a bug who lives in dung?" Dilbert sits in his chair. Dogbert asks, "Feel anything yet?" Dilbert replies, "Just a wicked urge to enter politics."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #stand-up, #comedy, #competition, #straightforward, #freestyle, #mandatory, #categories, #mattresses

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've decided to enter the stand-up comedy competition next week." Dilbert reads a document and continues, "The rules seem pretty straightforward . . . Five minutes per person . . . The first minute is freestyle comedy." Dilbert continues, "The remaining time is for the mandatory categories: Dan Quayle, flatulence, and the warning labels on mattresses."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #abducted, #aliens, #hypnotized, #dark, #room, #row, #seats, #popcorn, #substance, #feet, #disgusted, #dollars, #enter, #ship, #suppressed, #memory

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Dilbert sits at a table with Dogbert and says, "I didn't remember being abducted by aliens until you hypnotized me. But now I remember they looked like 'E.T.'" Dilbert looks at a drawing and continues, "I remember being in a dark room with rows of seats. They fed us a popcorn-like substance. My feet were stuck to the floor." Dilbert continues, "I recall being disgusted that they charged me six dollars to enter the ship." Dogbert says, "That's why you suppressed the memory."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #school, #jerk, #sorting, #major, #categories, #specialized, #instruction, #supermodel, #cindy, #picture, #Sports, #hubba, #court

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Two men shove each other as they enter "Dogbert's School for Jerks." Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "We'll begin by sorting you into the three major jerk categories for specialized instruction." Dogbert holds up a photo and says, "Look at this picture of supermodel Cindy Crawford." A man in the audience says, "Whoa! Hubba! Snort!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who said 'hubba,' stand over there. You are what is called 'jerks around women.'" Dogbert tosses a ball into the audience and says, "Now, somebody catch this ball, please." Someone yells, "Foul! You fouled!" Dogbert says, "Anybody who yelled 'foul' is a 'sports jerk.' Stand over there." A man says, "It WAS a foul." Dogbert says, "So, whoever is left must be . . ." A woman wearing a suit and carrying a briefcase says, "Hurry up. I'm late for court." The man next to her asks, "You're a lawyer too?" Another man says, "I was going to say 'hubba.'"