Executive Body Guard Class Comic Strips

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477 Results for Executive Body Guard Class

View 1 - 10 results for executive body guard class comic strips. Discover the best "Executive Body Guard Class" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #friends, #intelligence, #animals

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've decided to make some dog friends, but I don't even know what other dogs do when they get together." Dilbert replies, "Well, I suppose they would bark like idiots, run around in circles, and sniff every part of your body." Dogbert says, "I guess 'Scrabble' is out of the question."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #overused phrases, #wednesday, #swimming, #jokes

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Dilbert: One more adjustment and my trans-dimensional radio will be complete. Man: Welcome to the land of overused phrases. Man 2: Boy, they let any-body in here. Dilbert: Uh... Hi, how are you? Both Men: Not bad for a Wednesday! Man 1: Let me give you the tencent tour. Man 2: OUch! I"ll just walk on the bottoms. Dogbert: You know, swimming is the best form of exercise. Both Men: The chosen one!! Dogbert: Nah. I'm just pulling your legs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Kids, #adults, #woman, #cooties, #faking it

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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Sometimes I feel like a kid in an adult's body, hoping nobody notices." Dilbert thinks, "It's as if I stopped maturing and just started faking it after age fourteen." Dilbert passes a woman and thinks, "I'll bet women never feel that way." The woman thinks, "Cooties."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1989's comic on:


Tags #absent mindedness, #Dilbert, #ego, #starving, #feed

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Dilbert: Yikes! What are you?! Ego: Do not panic. I am your ego. My ego??...shouldn't you be inside me someplace? Ego: Well, yes, normally we egos feed within the body. Dilbert: So what the heck are you doing out here? Ego: You're starving me, man. I'm going to try out for a play or something.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #acupuncture, #relieve stress, #needles, #sarcasm

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I've been considering acupuncture as a way to relieve stress." Dogbert asks, "The theory here is that sticking large needles into your body will help you relax?" Dilbert replies, "It sounds silly when YOU say it." Dogbert says, "Sometimes sarcasm helps us think more clearly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weapons, #tv guides, #falcon crest, #sex education

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Dogbert stands on a desk and says, "Okay, class . . . Put your weapons away and open your TV Guides." Dogbert continues, "Timmy, please read aloud the passage from 'Falcon Crest' under the Friday listings." Dogbert thinks, "There's got to be a better way to teach sex education."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #bob, #fridge, #ice cream, #ice age, #guard

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Dilbert: Ice cream. Bob: Sorry. I've been really jumpy ever since the ice age caught me off guard.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #corporate, #philosophy, #shoot, #messenger, #consulted, #engineering, #department, #launched, #ill-conceived product, #humiliated, #fired, #eileen, #document, #carpet

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Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #body, #language, #cuddle, #fireplace, #firewood, #date, #woman, #love, #love and dating

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Dilbert thinks, "I can tell what my date is thinking by her body language." Dilbert thinks, "Her body is telling me 'Let's cuddle by a fireplace. . .'" Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant and his date stands on her chair holding a chainsaw. Dilbert thinks, "'I'll get some firewood,' she says . . ."