Fighting Predictability Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

22 Results for Fighting Predictability

View 1 - 10 results for fighting predictability comic strips. Discover the best "Fighting Predictability" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonians, #futile, #civil, #war, #living, #animals, #fighting, #civilized, #country, #slaughter, #discriminate, #economically, #speech, #solo, #secretary, #state

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in the middle of a crowd of Elbonians, spreads his arms and yells, "Elbonians hear me! You must end your futile civil war." Dilbert gestures toward a pig and continues, "You've been loving your animals and fighting each other. A civilized country should slaughter the animals and simply discriminate economically against each other!" Dilbert asks an Elbonian, "How did my speech go over?" The Elbonian points to the pig and says, "I'm sold, but I think the Secretary of State was a bit put off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert the consultant, #took adice, #formed buisness, #compmay, #spend time fighting, #guarantee future business, #expired

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "We took your advice and formed business units within the company . . ." As Wally and another employee fight with each other in the background, the Boss continues, "Now we spend all of our time fighting with each other about who does what." The Boss asks Dogbert, "What exactly did you mean when you said it would 'guarantee future business?'" Dogbert says, "Oh look - my contract just expired."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #shipped new prodcut, #tech support, #trained, #embarrasments, #monk, #training, #material, #real monk, #pig latin

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss speaks to three employees in tech support. He says, "We just shipped our newest product. You folks in tech support will need to be trained so you can avoid any embarrassments." The Boss says, "We had a monk write the training material on a grain of rice. We could only afford one, so you'll have to share it." The Boss tosses a grain of rice at them and they lunge for it. As the employees fall to the floor fighting, the Boss says, "To be honest, I'm not sure we had a real monk. He wrote everything in Pig Latin."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #battle, #cubicle warriors, #fighting, #grandchildren ask, #overwhelming boredom, #hobo

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "The cubicle warrior prepares for battle." Dilbert thinks, "Fighting, fighting against the overwhelming boredom!" Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "When my grandchildren ask me what I did for a living, I'm going to lie." Dogbert sits on the couch armrest and replies, "I usually tell people you're a bobo."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexy project, #boost career, #sound good better job, #nano tech nology, #fighting terrorists

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I need to be managing a sexier project to boost my career. \it only has to sound good and not fail until I geta better job. How about a nanotechnology set cell for fighting terrorists? Dilbert: O-O-OKay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"If you hire me as your lobbyist I will convince Switzerland to attack Elbonia." $ "When the war begins, your sales of Kevlar Lederhosen will skyrocket!" "It's not as bad as it sounds. Elbonians believe that if they die fighting a neutral country, their souls get candy."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #predictable, #sneezed, #fighting predictability, #predicts sneeze

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Dilbert says I'm predictable. Am I predictable? Catbert: Gesundheit in advance. The Boss: Must...Control sneeze. Must...Not be...predictable." "Mroomph!" Catbert: Yesterday I drew a picture of what this would look like."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #idea squirrel, #steals your ideas, #treats you like a nut, #tackle him, #boss office, #squirrel, #great ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Anyway, that's what I think should be done." Dilbert says, "IDEA SQUIRREL!" Asok says, "WHAT? WHAT?" Dilbert says, "The idea squirrel steals your ideas and treats you like a nut for saying they were yours!" Asok says, "What do I do now?" Dilbert says, "Your only hope is to tackle him before he gets to our boss's office." Asok says, "GAAA!!!" The Idea Squirrel says, "Grrr..." Someone says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Why is the squirrel that always has great ideas fighting with that nut?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temp, #angry, #bragging, #fighting, #violence, #injury, #pain

View Transcript

Transcript

Overqualified temp Asok the intern says, "It's funny that you're a Rhodes scholar yet you can only find work as a temp." Asok the intern says, "I am only an intern and yet I enjoy the power and prestige of being your supervisor." Asok the intern says, "In retrospect I shouldn't have challenged her to a cage fight."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fighting, #trees, #ambassador of trees, #crimes against wood, #excessive printing, #copying, #biting, #bark is worse

View Transcript

Transcript

Tree: I am the ambassador of trees. You are accused of crimes against wood for your excessive printing and copying. Dilbert: And then he started biting me. Dogbert: His bark is worse.