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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #surprise, #accounting, #figures, #business

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The Boss: Dilbert, go down to the accounting department and find out what these figures mean. Dilbert: No... P-please... They aren't even human there. Witch: I don't like him. Troll: Surprise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1990's comic on:


Tags #finance troll, #bad time, #report, #accounting, #Dilbert, #witch, #figures

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Dilbert: This must be the company accounting department. I... I need to ask some questions about this b-budget report. Dilbert: Is this a bad time for you? Accounting Witch: Always.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #witch, #accounting department, #Dilbert, #chains, #man, #woman, #gender, #sex & gender, #figures, #Number

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A witch sitting on a throne points at Dilbert and yells, "Fool! Why have you come to the accounting department?!!" Dilbert is wrapped in chains and guarded by a troll holding a spear. Dilbert says, "Uh . . . I had some questions, sir . . . Ma'am . . . Er, sir?" Dilbert asks, "Are you a man or woman?" The witch replies, "In accounting, it doesn't really matter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #accounting, #engineer, #breathed, #air, #irreversible, #bad, #attitude, #part, #training, #bradley

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Dilbert says to a witch, "No! You can't force me to work in accounting! I'm an engineer!" The witch replies, "It's too late . . ." The witch explains, "You came . . . You breathed the air . . . The change is irreversible . . . Bradley will train you." Spikes grow out of Dilbert's back and he begins to turn into a troll. Dilbert says, "I'm starting to get a bad attitude about this job . . ." Bradley the Troll replies, "Good. I can skip that part of the training."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #reflect, #create, #erasing, #accounting, #budget, #bradley, #troll, #witch, #budget report

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The caption says, "Dilbert is forced to work in the accounting department." Dilbert has turned into a troll. Bradley the Troll says, "First you must understand how numbers change reality . . ." Bradley continues, "Some people think numbers merely REFLECT reality . . . But we believe that numbers CREATE reality." Bradley shows Dilbert a room where an overseer cracks a whip at several other trolls. Bradley says, "This our budget-erasing room . . ." The supervisor yells, "Erase faster!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #finances, #financial troll, #witch, #bradley, #budget report, #budget, #erasing

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Dilbert: Great... Not only am I being forced to work in the accounting department, but I'm slowly turning into a troll. Wait a minute... This is the budget for the accounting department itself... What happens if I erase it? Bradley: Boss!!? Boss!!? Witch: Help me! I'm melting! Aaagh!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #friendship, #strategy, #Dogbert, #financial, #advisor, #live, #lifelong, #bond, #trust, #money, #churn

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Dogbert answers the door and a man in a suit says, "Hi! I want to be your financial advisor." The man continues, "I've come to live with you. We'll eventually form a lifelong bond of trust and friendship." Dogbert says angrily, "I liked better when you guys just took our money." The man says, "I recommend a strategy called 'Churn.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #financial, #adviser, #churn, #burn, #mutual, #funds, #worthless, #equity, #brokerage, #risky

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "I recommend our 'Churn 'N' Burn' family of mutual funds." The man continues, "We'll turn your worthless equity into valuable brokerage fees in just three days!" Dilbert asks, "Is it risky?" The advisor replies, "Are you kidding?! We have actual brochures!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #investor, #financial, #advisor, #timid, #product, #window, #certificate, #deposit, #withdraw, #flying, #debenture, #trade off, #money, #fling

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "For the timid investor, I recommend our 'Perpetual Certificates of Deposit.'" The man continues, "They earn the highest possible interest. The only trade-off is that you can never withdraw it." Dilbert asks, "Why don't I just fling my money out a window?" The advisor replies, "Ah, you've heard of our 'Flying Debenture' product?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #strategic, #diversification, #fund, #lawyers, #money, #bags, #Dogs, #bury

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says as Dilbert reads a brochure, "That's our new 'Strategic Diversification Fund.'" The man continues, "Our lawyers put your money in little bags, then we have trained dogs bury them around town." Dilbert asks, "Do they bury the bags or the lawyers?" The advisor replies, "We've tried it both ways."