Flermmed Th Eplootash Comic Strips

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11 Results for Flermmed Th Eplootash

View 1 - 10 results for flermmed th eplootash comic strips. Discover the best "Flermmed Th Eplootash" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1994's comic on:


Tags #brain overload, #experiences perceived, #garbageman, #illusions, #inability to percieve, #paths, #physics, #possibility, #rat can't conceive, #rats, #time and motion

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Ratbert: What is reality, mister garbage man? Garbage man: are you sure you're ready for that, Ratbert? Ratbert: My mind is a blank slate! Garbageman: Okay...time and motion are just illusions created by your inability to perceive everything at once. Everything that is possible as a path you simply choose the path you wish to perceive. Th only things you can't change are the experiences you've already perceived. Ratbert: My head hurts. Garbageman: The contents of a garbage can are determined by what path I choose to perceive, not by what somebody else chose to discard. Ratbert: Brain overload! Hey theres a new VCR in here! Garbageman: Cmon, Im expecting some great videos in the Obriens can.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bank off head, #coach, #field, #game, #glasses, #goal, #soccer, #strike, #team players, #Sports

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Player man: dilbert, you'll be playing the left striker position. Player man: one of our good players will try to strike tony in th head with the ball and bank it in the goal, LIZ: "It" being the ball not your head. Dilbert: Id better take off y glasses. LIZ: No, don't, I included their dampening effect in my calculations.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 1994's comic on:


Tags #consulting comany, #executive compensation, #ninety percent, #overpaid, #repeat business

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Dogbert: the dogcart consulting company has reviewed the executive compensation plan as you requested. My conclusion is that you're already hideously overpaid, Im recommending ninety percent pay cuts and a whack in th head for each of you. I"ll bet you don't get much repeat business. Dogbert: Oh yeah, as if Id want to spend more time with you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cloning th eboss, #might hurt, #push button, #employeees, #operating room, #doctors offcie, #lab

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Headline: Cloning the Boss. Dilbert has on a doctor's uniform. The Boss is lying on an operation bed with a laser pointed at his head. The Boss asks, "Will this hurt?" Dilbert responds, "I hope so." Alice, Wally, and Asok enter the room. Alice says, "We heard it might hurt." Wally asks, "May I push the button?" The Boss looks nervous.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #different decsions, #iq 240, #intuition and experence, #chinese astrology

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Asok: I've noticed that every decision you make is different from what I would have done. My IQ is 240. Your IQ aspires to th three-digit range, I assume that your intuition and experience are guiding you. Please be that. The Boss: Chinese astrology!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stock investing, #valuable data, #project on schedule, #refines data, #ceo, #accountants, #nanotaechnology, #discount brokerage, #investors, #secret society, #donald trumps

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dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #trip to la, #milestones, #burgeoning career, #airport, #pass out, #carrying intern

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Th eBoss: "Asok, I'm flying to Los Angeles for a meeting and I want you to join me." Asok: "Gasp" "I am honored. This feels like an important milestone in my burgeoning career!" Flight attendant: "We'll begin by pre-boarding anyone who..." The boss: "Coming through!" "Flyco!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #goals for th eyear, #replace my soul, #become immortal, #coffee

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The Boss: Wally, what are your goals for the coming year? Wally: My goal is to replace my soul with coffee and become immortal. The boss: I mean something about work. Wally: Oh, I thought you said MY goals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #hired sadits, #thin th herd, #looks slow

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The Boss: I hired a sadist. Dilbert: Why? Th boss: I'll be using you her to thin the heard. Dilbert: Herd? Sadist: That one looks slow. The Boss: That all look like that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2011's comic on:


Tags #consensus, #lost and confused, #lateness, #doesn't work

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Dilbert: There was a consensus in that room that you're not important, so we started without you. we hate you for disrespecting us with your lateness and we expect you'll be lost and confused by th rest of this meeting. Alice: in summary, lateness is one of those things that doesn't work for everyone.