Follow A Process Comic Strips

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155 Results for Follow A Process

View 1 - 10 results for follow a process comic strips. Discover the best "Follow A Process" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #pig, #capitalism, #process, #mud, #making, #communism, #elbonian, #elbonia, #Politics, #Dilbert

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An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #rabert, #lab rats, #stupid, #professor, #heart, #laboratory, #escaping

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Rabert: Goodbye, Dogbert, I must return to the lab with the professor. Dogbert: That's stupid. Rabert: He says he loves me. That must be why he fed me so much. Dogbert: You're getting stupider. Rabert: I have to follow my heart. Dogbert: Mmm... Love causes stupidity in lab rats.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #painting, #creepy, #follow, #currator, #art, #news, #newspaper, #home

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A man points to a painting and says to Dilbert, "Notice how the eyes seem to follow you." Dilbert moves his head and says, "Wow, that's a weird effect." The man says, "It gets better." Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. The eyes from the painting followed him home and are sitting on the window sill.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #kiss, #question, #gracefully, #blind dating, #love, #dog, #animal behavior

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Judy, a dog in a dress, says to Dilbert, "I guess a good night kiss is out of the question." Dilbert throws a stick and says, "Fetch!" Judy turns to follow the stick. Dilbert leans against the door and says, "That ended more gracefully than most of my dates."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #evil, #good, #Dogs, #animal behavior, #cats, #stupid, #people, #logic, #predicts, #theory, #existential crisis

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Dogbert and Dilbert walk through the park. Dilbert asks, "Do you think people are basically good or evil?" Dogbert replies, "Well, I know dogs are basically good." Dogbert continues, "And dogs are better than people." Dogbert continues, "But people are better than cats." They sit down under a tree. Dogbert continues, "And cats are evil . . ." Dogbert continues, "Therefore, all people are stupid." Dilbert says, "I don't follow that logic." Dogbert says, "Yes, my theory predicts you would say that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #customers, #consultant, #tom peters, #follows, #around, #passionate, #criticism, #splitter, #customer

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Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mtv, #reporter, #success, #crowd, #instincts, #invent, #rap, #dressing, #music, #grammer, #nobody, #else, #quite

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Dogbert tells Dilbert, "I'm off to my new job as an MTV reporter." Dogbert holds a microphone and stands next to a man wearing gold chains and a cap. Dogbert asks, "Rap star Freshy Q, what is the key to your success?" Freshy Q replies, "Always be yourself. Don't follow the crowd. Be true to your instincts." Dogbert asks, "Did YOU invent rap?" Freshy Q replies, "Uh . . . No." Dogbert says, "Oh, but you probably pioneered this style of dressing." Freshy Q replies, "Not exactly." Dogbert says, "But you write all of your own music." Freshy Q says, "No . . . I buy it." Dogbert asks, "The dance steps?" Freshy Q replies, "I hire a choreographer." Dogbert says, "Well, I'll bet nobody else folds his arms quite like you." Freshy Q says, "I don't like the direction this is heading."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #hire, #consultant, #cognitive, #dissonance, #employee, #morale, #absurd, #situation, #work, #minds, #comfortable, #illusion, #strange, #dead end, #job, #love, #mediocre, #freely

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Dogbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Why should I hire you as my consultant?" Dogbert replies, "I'll use my special process of cognitive dissonance to improve employee morale." The Boss asks, "How does it work?" Dogbert explains, "When people are in an absurd situation, their minds rationalize it by inventing a comfortable illusion." The Boss says, "Okay, go do it." Dogbert asks an employee, "Isn't it strange that you have this dead end job when you're twice as smart as your boss?" Dogbert continues, "The hours are long, the pay is mediocre, nobody respects your contributions, and yet you freely choose to work here." The man looks upset. The man says, "It's absurd! No, wait . . . There must be a reason . . . I must work here because I LOVE the work." The man sits at his desk humming and thinking, "I love this job." Dogbert says, "Next!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #received, #employee, #suggestion, #handle, #blanket, #imbeciles, #process

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Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss enters and says, "I just received your employee suggestion." The Boss continues, "We'll handle it the usual way -- by making you sit under a wet blanket surrounded by imbeciles." Dilbert sits in a chair with a blanket covering his head. Four stupid people stand around him. Dilbert thinks, "At least there's a process." A man asks, "Explain your suggestion again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #eliminated, #tedious, #consuming, #process, #computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."