Full Range Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

189 Results for Full Range

View 1 - 10 results for full range comic strips. Discover the best "Full Range" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 1989's comic on:


Tags #panic, #store

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand at a store counter. The clerk asks Dogbert, "And what can I get for you little fellow?" Dogbert looks up at the salesclerk and yells, "I want it all!! Ha ha! Give me mouthwash, gum, deodorant, lipstick, Krazy glue, Rolaids and . . . And . . ." Dilbert and Dogbert walk out carrying full bags. Dogbert says, "I panicked."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #joke, #pun

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dogbert demonstrates the art of puns. Step #1: 'The Set-up.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist." Dilbert says, "Uncle Albert won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemonies. Sadly, he had little time for a social life." The caption says, "Step #2: 'The Delivery' (from outside of swatting range)." Dogbert stands in the doorway and says, "With anemonies like that, who needs friends?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #fashion, #suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a salesclerk in a retail clothing store, "I'm looking for a fine wool suit, in the $700 range. Something fashionable yet timeless." The clerk hands him a suit and says, "Try this $35 nylon beauty, suitable for swimming or dining out. The bell bottoms are no extra charge." Dilbert says, "Wow!" Dilbert walks away carrying the $35 suit. He says, "I guess I was just born to be a fashion pioneer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #bear, #Dilbert, #sales, #seven times

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. The doorbell rings. Dilbert opens the door and a bear says, "Hi. I'm the bear skin rug you ordered by mail." The bear enters the house and says, "I'm a kit. You just have to kill me, rip my guts out and leave me to dry." Dilbert looks shocked. Dilbert covers his eyes and says, "Egad! I couldn't possibly do that. Please . . . Just go." The bear says, "You'll receive a full refund, of course." Dilbert says, "No, no! Please keep it." The bear, who is really a man in a bear suit, walks into the rug store. A man at a desk asks, "How were sales today?" The man in the suit replies, "Great! Sold myself seven times."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #unauthorized, #biography, #revelations, #exopse

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the floor by the fireplace. Dogbert says, "I'm starting to write an unauthorized biography about you." Dogbert continues, "It's kind of a 'pet and tell' expose full of startling revelations." Dilbert asks, "Who would be startled by MY life?" Dogbert replies, "I think YOU will be."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #static, #electricity, #usless, #resistor, #dog of thunder, #nerd, #puns, #annoys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Maybe since you're full of static electricity, you should say 'it is useless to be a resistor.' Hee-hee-hee." Dogbert's fur is standing up. Dogbert zaps Dilbert with an electric shock. Clouds of smoke rise from Dilbert's head and his clothes are charred. Dogbert says as he walks away, "Nothing annoys the 'Dog of Thunder' quite as much as nerd puns."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #Dilbert, #sale, #price, #discount, #cash, #ten, #days

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table in a doctor's office. The doctor says, "Normally I'd give you six months to live." The physician continues, "But we're having a '50% off sale' today, so I'll give you a full year for the same price." Dilbert lies back on the table. The doctor says, "And you get an extra ten days if you pay cash!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #blind, #date, #full-bodied, #indivudal, #light, #overweight, #base, #camp, #ankles

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the bed watching Dilbert tie his tie. The doorbell rings and Dogbert says, "Must be your blind date. I'll let her in." Dilbert asks, "How's she look?" Dogbert replies, "Well, you could say she's a full-bodied individual." Dilbert asks, "You mean she's a little overweight?" Dogbert replies, "I mean Sherpas have established a base camp on her ankles."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #doc, #doctor, #redundant, #organs, #kidneys, #large, #intestines, #advantage, #pancreas, #patients, #relax

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on an examining table wearing only his underwear. Dilbert asks the doctor, "How's it look, Doc?" The doctor examines an X-ray and says, "You came just in time." The physician explains, "I'm way behind in my alimony payments. I'll have to do some unnecessary surgery on you." The doctor continues, "You have a fair number of redundant organs." The doctor continues, "Two lungs . . . Two kidneys . . . Large AND small intestines . . ." Dilbert looks scared. The doctor says, "And I'm sure you aren't taking full advantage of your pancreas." Dilbert faints. The doctor looks at the reader and says, "I find that humor helps my patients relax."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 1990's comic on:


Tags #bob, #dinosaur, #hardware, #store, #phillips screw, #fern, #invented

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bag full of tools. Bob the Dinosaur says, "Looks like another shopping binge at the hardware store." Dilbert replies, "I couldn't resist." Dilbert takes a drill out of the bag and says, "Gee, Bob, what did dinosaurs do before tools were invented?" Bob replies, "It was hard . . ." Bob continues, "Sometime, you should try to tighten a Phillips screw with a fern." Dilbert replies, "That's no way to live."