Generate Earthquakes Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

14 Results for Generate Earthquakes

View 1 - 10 results for generate earthquakes comic strips. Discover the best "Generate Earthquakes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogs, #Entertainment, #earthquake

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk using a screwdriver. Dogbert says, "You know, dogs can sense earthquakes before they happen." Dogbert says, "Here comes one now." Dilbert drops the screwdriver. As Dilbert hides under the desk, Dogbert says, "This has potential to keep me entertained for weeks."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #invention, #Dilbert, #scientist, #earth, #moon, #destroy, #warning label

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #program, #pick-up line, #mel gibson, #savage

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is sitting next to him, "I've designed this program to generate the most effective pick-up line in the universe." Dilbert continues, "Ha ha! Women will be helpless when they hear my clever opener. . . . And the line is . . ." Dilbert reads on the screen, "Hi. I'm Mel Gibson. Did you see a dingo dog go by here with my shirt?" Dogbert says, "Kiss me, you wicked savage."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #computer, #computer software, #Dilbert, #display, #internet, #michael, #microchip, #online, #screen, #software

View Transcript

Transcript

Michael: Let me show you a round the inside of your computer. Dilbert: Neat! Michael: Here's where we generate the hypnotic signals for your display screen. Dilbert: Why? Michael: To make you think you need more computers. Dilbert: Good lord, you've learned to reproduce!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #accomplish, #performance, #worthless, #generate, #license

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Tell me what you've accomplished this year so I can write your performance appraisal." Dilbert answers, "The inventions I made last year - that you thought were worthless, will generate twelve million in license fees next year!" The Boss asks, "So, no real accomplishments THIS year?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #alice, #volunteering, #resume

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, "Thank you all for volunteering for my task force on 'palmtop personal multimedia.'" Dogbert continues, "I'm sure that you all have a common vision about this project . . ." Dogbert continues, "Specifically, you think it will look good on your resumes while being too futuristic to generate any real work." Wally thinks, "Mother lode."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #business plan, #start up, #provide venture capital, #lost of media, #afraid of dogs, #media hype, #greeting investors, #prospectus

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table. Dogbert says, "The business plan for your start-up is idiotic but I'm going to provide the venture capital funding anyway." Dogbert continues, "We'll generate lots of media hype, go public and make millions by shafting greedy and ignorant investors." Dogbert continues, "The Latin word for 'close your eyes and open your mouth' is 'prospectus.'" Wally says, "This is exactly why I'm afraid of dogs."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #trade hsow, #Dogbert, #design, #deluxe booth, #more revenue

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 1997's comic on:


Tags #schedule, #future unplanned network outages, #include schedule, #sick days, #volcanic eruptions, #earth quakes, #hurricanes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert hands the Boss a document and says, "As you requested, here is a schedule of all future unplanned network outages." Dilbert continues, "I took the initiative to include a schedule of all future sick days, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and hurricanes." Dilbert says, "This is the point when you realize how stupid your request was and we have a good laugh." The Boss reads the document and looks shocked. He asks, "Does CNN know about this?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2000's comic on:


Tags #the inspirational ceo, #poor results, #engineers, #cause & effcet, #generate results, #pathetic losers, #losers, #energy, #squirming, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

The CEO is at a lecturn. The CEO says, "Our company is too good to have results this poor." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." The CEO thinks, "%#!* Engineers." The CEO says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Are you saying the laws of cause and effect do not apply?" Dilbert continues, "Logically, if we were good, we would generate good results." Sitting between the Wally and Alice, Dilbert continues, "Is it not more likely that we are pathetic losers who get exactly what we deserve?" The CEO says, "Yes, individually you're all losers. But together we're a great company. Thanks to my leadership." Wally says, "I feel like squirming but I don't have the energy."