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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dorgy, #maid, #promoted, #japanese, #ww2, #industrialist, #Dilbert

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Dilbert: Dorgy, why are you dressed like a maid? Dorgy: Dogbert is teaching me capitalism. Today I am lowly maid. But with hard work I will be promoted to job as major industrialist. Right? Apparently there is flaw in system. Dogbert: Yeah, but we blame it on the Japanese,

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 04, 1992's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #understand, #sleep, #sleep deprivation, #Food, #starve, #artificial, #deadline, #ergle, #flumg, #muddle brained, #incomprehensible, #division, #manager

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The Boss says to Tim, "I understand you've been going without sleep or food for days just to meet some artificial deadline." Tim mumbles incoherently. The Boss continues, "As a result, your work has been muddle-brained and incomprehensible. You leave me no choice, Tim." Wally says to Dilbert, "Tim got promoted to division manager." Dilbert replies, "I wonder if he knows it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #tim, #Promotion, #sacrificed, #health, #life, #soul, #worth, #office, #door, #low achiever day, #touch

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Tim says to Dilbert, "I've sacrificed my health, my personal life and my soul to get promoted." Tim continues, "Ha ha ha! But it was all worth it because I have an office with a DOOR and you still work in a cubicle!" Tim continues, "Maybe I'll host a special 'Low-Achiever Day' to let you touch my door." Dilbert imagines closing Tim in his door.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 23, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #chance, #promoted, #technology, #prima donna, #personality, #disorder, #person, #learn, #dustin, #hoffman, #sean penn, #paparazzi

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Dilbert sits on the floor hugging his knees and Dogbert sits on the couch armrest. Dilbert says, "I have a chance to be promoted to 'Technology Prima Donna' if I can develop a personality disorder." Dilbert says, "I don't know how a person can learn that sort of thing." Dogbert replies, "It's easy." Dogbert explains, "Imagine Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain Man.' Now add a dash of Sean Penn meeting a paparazzo." Dilbert clenches his fists and says, "Grrr . . . . Mumble . . . Grrr . . . "

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #deserve, #promoted, #technical, #unstable, #potentially, #dangerous, #knowledge

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I'll prove I deserve to be promoted to 'Technical Prima Donna.'" Dilbert sprays the Boss with a fire extinguisher and says, "I think this shows that I'm emotionally unstable and potentially dangerous." Dilbert asks, "How was that?" The Boss says from under a pile of foam, "It was good. I'm starting to over-value your technical knowledge already."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #Dilbert, #office, #man, #computer, #phone

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Dilbert stands behind a broken desk chair and says into the phone, "My chair is broken. Can you send a new one from the warehouse?" A man at a desk replies, "No can do, my friend. All we have is chairs with deluxe armrests. They're only for managers who are one level higher than you." The man says, "What do I suggest? I dunno . . . Maybe take some classes at night. I'm sure you can get promoted eventually."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 1994's comic on:


Tags #quality training, #promoted, #management, #lobotomy, #footsteps

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Dilbert: "The only way to get ahead in this company is by getting promoted to management." "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get promoted. I want to follow in your footsteps." "But I'm wondering if a lobotomy is actually necessary." "No, we'll just run you through 'quality training'."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #corporate politics, #waste basket, #teach everything, #promoted level

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Dilbert: I want you to teach me everything you know about corporate politics so I can get promoted to your level. The Boss: To truly understand office politics you must wear a waste basket on your head for one full day. LATER Dilbert: Does this really work? The Boss: It works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #about co workers, #donuts, #get prompted, #say bad things, #weight, #woman, #medical

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DOGBERT: If you want to get promoted , say bad things about co workers so you look better by comparison. Dilbert: Geez, Lisa, It looks like you've been hotting the donuts pretty hard lately. Dilbert: heh-hehe...big things are coming my way soon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sales, #two years, #sudden surge, #business case apporved, #get promoted, #accountability, #business

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Ted: I predict sales to be nothing for two years and then take a sudden surge. Dilbert: Why? Ted: The surge was added so I could get the business case approved. The two -year lag gives me time to get promoted. Dilbert: What about accountability? Dilbert: thats where you come in.