Get Rid Of Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

46 Results for Get Rid Of

View 1 - 10 results for get rid of comic strips. Discover the best "Get Rid Of" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #neans, #scrabble, #n

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table playing Scrabble. Dogbert arranges his letters and says, "That spells 'neans.' Five points for me." Dilbert says, "'Neans' is NOT a word, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "I know, but I need to get rid of some n's." Dilbert says, "The n's don't justify the 'neans.'" Dogbert says, "I just wanted to hear you say that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #headache, #trick, #doctor, #pharmacist, #bottle, #pharmacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have something for a headache?" The pharmacist hands Dilbert a bottle and says, "I'm pretty sure this will do the trick." Dilbert says, "Thanks." The pharmacist thinks, "I wonder if he meant something to GET RID of a headache. Nah . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #witchcrat, #handy, #annoying, #luv, #frog, #fly, #dinner, #date, #love, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a restaurant table eating dinner. Dilbert asks, "So . . . Uh . . . Why did you decide to take up witchcraft?" The woman replies, "It comes in handy." The woman points to a fly circling the table and says, "For example, suppose I want to get rid of this annoying fly here." The woman turns Dilbert into a frog and says, "Now be a luv . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mr. tidy, #rid, #finished, #report, #mr. boss, #thief, #produced, #the boss

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't worry. If it's true that an impostor is trying to steal your job, I'll get rid of him at once." Dilbert points at a man with an eyepatch, a mohawk haircut and clothes like Dilbert's. Dilbert says, "There he is! And he doesn't even look like me!" The robber replies, "I finished the report." Dilbert says, "There's only room for one Dilbert!!" The Boss reads the report and says, "But this one actually produced something . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mouse, #office, #rid, #twenty, #five, #years, #called, #Women, #movement, #butt

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert watches as a woman says to the janitor, "Willy, there's a mouse in my office. Please get rid of it." Willy replies, "Haw haw! Twenty-five years of the so-called Women's Movement and nothing is different!" The woman says, "Do it now, or I'll fire your butt." Willy says, "This part is a little different."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 1993's comic on:


Tags #company, #headquarters, #plan, #employees, #offer, #deceptively, #retire, #Wally, #alice, #calculate, #cosine

View Transcript

Transcript

At company headquarters, someone asks, "Does anybody have a plan for getting rid of the employees?" Another person answers, "Well, they're bad at math; we could offer deceptively small sums of money to people who retire." Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "Hey, this could be good." Wally says, "It's been a long time since I had to calculate the cosine of anything."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 1994's comic on:


Tags #organ donor, #reorganizations, #unwanted employees, #what job

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Sometimes I think these constant reorganizations are just excuses for getting rid of unwanted employees. Wally: what job did you end up with? Dilbert: Organ donor Wally: My shoulder is acting up. Do I talk to you or is there a form to fill out? Dilbert: I don't think thats an "Organ"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ranked engineers, #best to wworst, #bottom 10%, #includes you, #logically flawed, #fire, #fire body parts, #wally freaked outm, #torsos, #glands, #blood and bile, #fired hair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We ranked all the engineers from best to worst." The Boss continues, "We plan to get rid of the bottom ten percent. That includes you, Wally." Wally replies, "Your plan is logically flawed." Wally continues, "If you fire the bottom ten percent, you'll STILL have a bottom 10%." Wally continues, "You'll fire and fire, but there will always be a bottom 10%, until finally . . ." Wally stands up and shouts, "When less than ten people are left you'll have to fire body parts instead of whole people!!!" Wally screams, "We'll have torsos and glands wandering around unable to use keyboards . . . Blood and bile everywhere!!!" Dilbert asks, "How'd it go?" Wally replies, "He fired my hair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #dogbert show, #gettung givernment back, #buy liquor, #buy cigarettes, #buy firearms, #drive thru, #gets rid of people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "'Corn starch' . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Stores sell it, but who buys it?" Dogbert thinks, "Who irons corn anyway?"