Hate Earth Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

366 Results for Hate Earth

View 1 - 10 results for hate earth comic strips. Discover the best "Hate Earth" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #hallway, #dignity, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "Oh no . . . If this guy turns left when I go right, we'll end up walking down the hall right next to each other." The man turns and walks next to Dilbert. Dilbert thinks, "I hate this . . . A huge, empty hallway and here we are synchronized like two of the Rockettes." Back at home, Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . So that's when I knocked on the ladies' room door, yelled 'janitor' and ducked inside." Dogbert says, "At least you maintained your dignity."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #dog, #history, #animals, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks on a sidewalk. Someone behind him says, "Uh . . . Excuse me, earth dog." An alien says to Dogbert, "We have traveled from a distant planet to find out why earth dogs are forced to eat from dirty little bowls while humans use plates." Dogbert and the aliens sit on the grass. Dogbert explains, "Well, basically, it's political. It all began after the unsuccessful poodle rebellion in France, around 1723 . . ." One alien whispers to the other, "Better use a pencil . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #door, #fall, #falling, #rude, #stairs

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks through a door and thinks, "I hate this: somebody is just far enough behind me that it would be awkward to hold the door, but rude to let it swing." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'll just pick up the pace and act like I don't notice anybody behind me." The door hits the person behind him. The person screams and falls down the stairs. Dilbert thinks, "Doors at the tops of stairs are the worst."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death, #waiting, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to the Grim Reaper, "Look, Mr. Death, now that you know I'm the wrong guy, why don't you just leave me alone." The Grim Reaper replies, "I hate to waste a trip. Suppose your number comes up tomorrow - I gotta come all the way back. Just let me hang around today. You won't even notice me." Dilbert says, "THIS is gonna be a very long day." The Grim Reaper follows him and asks, "So, how do you feel?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aliens, #secret, #selfish

View Transcript

Transcript

Two aliens who look like cows travel toward earth in a spaceship. Dilbert sits at his desk. The doorbell rings. Dogbert says, "I'll get the door." Dogbert opens the door and sees the two aliens. One of the aliens says, "Greetings, earthling. We are an advanced race from the planet Moothron." The alien continues, "We came to share our secrets for ending hunger, poverty and disease." Dogbert asks, "What's in it for me?" The aliens look at each other. The aliens get in their spaceship and fly away. Dogbert sits on the hassock and says, "I'll always wonder if there was a better way to handle that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaur, #carnivore, #joke, #bob

View Transcript

Transcript

Dawn the Dinosaur says to Dilbert, "Let's make a deal. You let us continue hiding in your house, and Bob won't hungrily devour you." Dilbert replies, "That's fair." Dilbert continues, "But I'm puzzled . . . I know that Dawn can avoid being seen because she is a Nobodysaurus, but how on earth did Bob go unnoticed all this time?" Bob points to his sneakers and says, "Tennies." Dawn says, "Old dinosaur trick."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #dinosaurs, #theory, #giant meteor, #earth, #larry

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor in front of Dilbert's chair. Dilbert says, ". . . So the theory that dinosaurs were destroyed when a giant meteor collided with earth . . ." Bob says, ". . . Was highly exaggerated." A dinosaur points at another dinosaur who lies underneath a meteor and says, "Ha ha, Larry! Ha ha!" Another animal says, "Nice catch." From underneath the meteor, Larry says, "Ouch!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #invention, #Dilbert, #scientist, #earth, #moon, #destroy, #warning label

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands next to a device and Dogbert sits on a stool. Dilbert says, "My new invention will generate a solid particle bridge to permanently connect the earth to the moon!" Dogbert says, "Well, I'm no scientist, but won't that disrupt the earth's orbit and cause an ice age that will destroy all life on this planet?" Dilbert asks, "You think it needs a little warning label?" Dogbert replies, "Just don't let kids use it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #national news, #critics, #management, #megaslime corporation, #repitilian, #aliens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair watching a television news report. The newscaster says, "And in national news . . ." The newscaster continues, "Critics today accused the management of Megaslime Corporation of being hideous reptilian aliens bent on enslaving the earth." The newscaster continues, "A spokesman for the company denied the charge." Dilbert says, "Whew!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public fountain, #taunt, #thirsty, #cooties, #water, #slurp

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks down at a water fountain and says, "I hate this . . . When I'm really thirsty, there always seems to be some disgusting public fountain to taunt me." Dilbert continues, "No doubt this thing is crawling with cooties, and I'll have to wrap my lips around it to slurp the water out." The fountain says, "Hey, I'm not too thrilled about you, either."