Holes In Contract Comic Strips
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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert walks into the room and says, "It's contract renewal time." Dilbert asks, "What contract?" Dogbert replies, "The owner/pet contract; ours expires at midnight." Dilbert says, "Gosh. I don't even remember signing the original one." Dilbert reads the contract and says, "Let's see . . . 'The pet's responsibility is to obey the owner's commands, no matter how humiliating.'" Dilbert reads, "'The owner's responsibilities include yelling at the pet and acting important.'" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll si. . . Wait a minute . . . My name is typed in under 'PET'!!" Dogbert thinks, "So close . . ."
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types, "To his horror, Dilbert discovers that all of his white socks have holes. 'My goodness!' he cries, 'I shall be forced to wear black socks to work.'" Dogbert continues typing, "'If only my pants reached the tops of my shoes, then the other engineers might not notice,' Dilbert despaired." Dilbert asks, "What are you writing?" Dogbert turns around and answers, "It's a 'geek' tragedy."
Dilbert sits at his desk working on his computer. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "My program predicts that tiny holes in the ozone could lead to . . ." A flash of lightning zaps Dilbert and his computer. Dilbert looks at his burned computer and says, "Now we'll never know." Dogbert says, "But you're getting warmer."
Dogbert stands on a table rubbing a lamp. Dilbert asks, "Why are you rubbing that lamp?" Dogbert replies, "It's a routine check for magic genies." Dilbert says, "Carry on." A genie pops out of the lamp and says, "You have released me." Dogbert shouts, "Yes!!! Ha, ha!! Now you must grant me three wishes!" The genie replies, "Get real, four-eyes. We don't have a binding contract here." The genie says, "I LIKE living in a lamp. You disturbed me. I'm going to turn you into a wiener and go home." The genie turns Dogbert into a hot dog. He thinks, "At least it's an experience I can relish."
The caption says, "After one week of camping." Dogbert sits on the edge of a hole in the ground and says, "This vacation to Clyde Canyon has been a major rip-off." Dilbert, who is wearing a backpack and looks unshaven, says, "I'm glad it's over." A hiker walks to the edge of the hole and says, "Why are you two in that hole when beautiful Clyde Canyon is just over the ridge?" Dogbert says, "Maybe we shouldn't bother getting our photos developed."
A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."
The caption says, "Prairie dogs." Three prairie dogs peek out of their holes. The caption says, "Office workers." Dilbert, Wally and a man peek over the tops of their cubicles. The caption says, "Prairie dog workers." Three prairie dogs wearing glasses peek out of their holes. One prairie dog says, "Man, I'm swamped."
Dogbert hands a photograph to a man behind a desk and says, "Here is photo proof that I completed my hit-man contract on Dilbert." The man replies, "Excellent." Dogbert says, "Here he is, sitting lifeless in his stuffed chair." The man looks at the picture and says, "It looks like he's just watching television." Dogbert says, "Technically, my contract doesn't say I must kill him. It says I must 'prove he has no life.'"
Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"
Dogbert, Dilbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko yells at Dilbert, "You adults have totally messed up the planet!! Where's the accountability??!" Noriko continues, "You know our implied social contract! You take care of the kids, then we take care of you when you're old. That's how it's supposed to work." Dilbert says, "Well, I . . ." Noriko yells, "The deal is OFF!!"