Inappropriate Websites Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

19 Results for Inappropriate Websites

View 1 - 10 results for inappropriate websites comic strips. Discover the best "Inappropriate Websites" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #man, #benefits, #union

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I just love hiring these temporary workers!" The Boss carries a man over his shoulder. The Boss continues, "No employee benefits . . . No union . . . Just toss 'em in the dumpster when you're done with them!" Dilbert says, "The dumpster seems a bit inappropriate." The Boss replies, "They're way too big to flush."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1996's comic on:


Tags #network adminsitrator, #routers, #block employees, #websites, #program routers, #useless activities, #business plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a desk. The Boss asks, "Can you program the routers to block employees from all fun Web sites?" Dogbert replies, "Why stop there? I can program the routers to block ALL useless activities." The Boss asks, "How long will that take?" Dogbert unplugs a cable and says, "Done. I've seen your business plan."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #demons possessed, #view websites, #unspeakable abominations, #approve the purchase

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to the Boss, "Demons have possessed my PC. They force me to view websites of unspeakable abominations." Wally continues, "The only solution is for you to approve the purchase of a new PC for me." Dilbert approaches Wally, now sitting at his computer and asks, "How are the unspeakable abominations today?" Wally replies, "Much faster."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #new sales manager, #pig boy, #makes inappropriate comments, #employment screening process, #inappropriate comments, #swear, #date one eyed carpenter

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is sitting at her desk. The Boss approaches from behind and says, "Alice, meet our new sales manager." Alice stands up. The Pigboy enters and stands next to The Boss. The Boss says, "He's a Pigboy who makes inappropriate comments every five minutes." The Boss turns to the Pigboy and says, "Somehow he slipped through our rigorous employment screening process." The Boss looks at his watch and says, "Whoa! His five minutes are up." The Pigboy starts, "So Alice..." Blocking the rest of the Pigboy's comment is "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Boss is chuckling. Alice says, "That was very clever. Now let me try one." Alice's pushes The Boss out of the way and screams profanity at the Pigboy. Her comment is also blocked by, "Inappropriate Comment Deleted." The Pigboy's head has exploded. Visibly frazzled, The Boss turns to Alice and asks, "How did you learn to swear like that?" Alice responds, "I used to date a one-eyed carpenter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2004's comic on:


Tags #optimism, #blah blah, #record growth, #not litening, #inappropriate

View Transcript

Transcript

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." "I wasn't listening. I'll try some optimism. That works in every situation." "I hope we'll see record growth!" "In my prostate?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #personality predictor, #judge career, #dead end job, #matches, #lack of potential, #sample question, #angry loner, #embezzler, #lazy, #label yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We'll be using the Dogbert personality predictor index to judge your career potential. Then we'll leave you in the dead end job that most closely matches your lack of potential. Here's a sample question... How would other people describe you? A)Angry loner B) embezzler C) lazy Dilbert: That's not enough choices! Dogbert: Says the angry loner. The Boss: You have thirty minutes to give yourself a label that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Wally: Would you say I'm more of an unidentified hominid or an inappropriate toucher?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2009's comic on:


Tags #form, #signature, #anger, #frustration, #questions

View Transcript

Transcript

woman says, "You need to sign the corporate code of conduct." Wally says, "Wow! You're totally hot." woman says, "Um?That's inappropriate, and you need to sign the code of conduct." Wally says, "I don't have a pen, can you take it back to your cubicle and sign it for me?" woman says, "No. And I think you're lying about not having a pen. But maybe we can find one for you." Wally says, "See if Dilbert is in his cubicle, I usually take his stuff and blame the cleaners." woman says, "Just sign the #%!*! code of conduct or I will crush your stupid, bald head!" Wally says, "Do I need to read it?" Woman says, "No. Just say you did."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2011's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #internet & world wide web, #twitter account, #inspirational tweets, #racist rants, #spelled jokes, #terrorist websites, #boss's twitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: When I asked you to manage my Twitter account I assumed you knew I was expecting inspirational tweets. So far, all you've tweeted under my name are racist rants, misspelled jokes, and links to terrorist websites. Carol: To be fair, every one of those tweets was inspirational to someone.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #fake websites, #gullibility, #idiopathy epidemic, #internet & world wide web, #search engine, #slap the victim

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.