Knowing When To Quit Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

147 Results for Knowing When To Quit

View 1 - 10 results for knowing when to quit comic strips. Discover the best "Knowing When To Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #mental, #stimulation, #lazy, #knowing, #appreciate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert walks down the hall humming. He thinks, "It's one of those days my brain feels lazy." Dogbert thinks, "I'd better avoid any mental stimulation." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert says, "It's times like this I really appreciate knowing you." Dilbert replies, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #van, #drove, #away, #review, #job, #description, #adress, #quit, #thief

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert arrives at home and sees Dogbert sitting on the floor in an empty room. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, where's all of our furniture?!!" Dogbert replies, "Your new cleaning person loaded it into his van and drove away . . . Oh, and he said to tell you he quit." Dilbert says, "I think we need to review your job description as watchdog." Dogbert points to the wall and says, "I got his address." The cleaning person wrote on the wall "Send my check to," followed by his address.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1991's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #employee meeting, #wilson, #recognition, #twenty-hour, #overworked, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #entrepreneur, #Wally, #Adventure, #challenge, #stops, #paying, #quit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway holding coffee cups. Wally says, "I'm thinking of quitting and becoming an entrepreneur." Wally continues, "I want to experience life on the edge, full of risk and challenge and adventure!" Dilbert says, "The company stops paying you if you quit." Wally responds, "Oh, then never mind."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #comedy, #competition, #pairs, #chicken, #room, #stand-up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Dilbert sit at a table. Dogbert asks, "What makes you think you can win the stand-up comedy competition?" Dilbert replies, "It's just a matter of writing good jokes." Dilbert says, "Here's one - - 'Why do women go to the restroom in pairs?'" Dogbert asks, "Why?" Dilbert says, "Because they're stapled to the chicken! Hee-hee!" Dogbert says, "It's been nice knowing you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #car, #salesman, #Dogbert, #lying, #part, #crime, #pay, #retired, #readers digest, #special, #story

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #coffee, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #drinking, #dependent, #chemicals, #slow, #work, #monday, #thursday

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I quit drinking coffee. I don't like to be dependent on chemicals." Dogbert asks, "How's it feel?" Dilbert replies, "I felt a little slow getting ready for work, but you have to expect that on a Monday." Dogbert says, "It's Thursday."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #hourly, #shirt, #business, #despise, #general public, #change

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Can you help me?" The woman replies, "No, I'm afraid I can't." The clerk explains, "You see, I get paid the same low hourly wage whether you buy that shirt or not. And after years in this business I've learned to despise the general public." Dilbert waves some money at the woman and says, "Please . . . I have exact change." The clerk replies, "I have no way of knowing if that's true."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #athlete, #multimillion, #contract, #banned, #Sports, #drugs, #motivational, #speaker, #motivated, #illiterate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #ted, #managment

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Ted's desk and says, "Ted, you're part of the company 'right sizing' program, effective today." Ted replies, "Thank you! It's nice to get positive feedback from the boss!" The Boss says, "It's not feedback. I'm saying your position has been 'management adjusted.'" Ted replies, "Sounds great! Is there a raise involved?" The Boss says angrily, "Listen to me!! You're part of 'manager attrition' starting right now!" Ted says, "Wow! Is that the fast-track program for managers?" Wally tells Dilbert, "I heard that Ted got picked for the 'manager attrition' program." Dilbert asks angrily, "Why not us?" Dilbert and Wally stand across from the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "So unless you put us on the 'manager attrition' program too, we quit!" The Boss thinks, "There's never a flamethrower handy when you need it."