Laptops Banned Comic Strips

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12 Results for Laptops Banned

View 1 - 10 results for laptops banned comic strips. Discover the best "Laptops Banned" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #blind date, #biggest, #woman, #chance, #financially, #surviving, #dinner, #eat, #starch, #pasta, #banned, #life

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The caption says, "Dilbert greets his blind date." Dilbert thinks, "This is the biggest woman I've ever seen." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Hi." Dilbert thinks, "I have only one chance of financially surviving dinner." The woman says, "Hi." Dilbert says, "Say . . . Why don't we go to the 'All-you-can-eat House of Starch and Pasta?'" The woman replies, "Can't . . . Banned for life."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #foreign, #language, #children, #dress, #vikings, #hollering

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Opera should be banned from television." Dogbert continues, "It must be obscene, or they wouldn't have to sing it in a foreign language." Dogbert continues, "And we can't let children think it's okay to dress like Vikings and go around hollering."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #laptop, #computers, #outdated, #fingernail, #models, #glue, #permanently, #fingers

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A clerk in a computer store says to Dilbert, "Laptop computers are outdated. You want our new fingernail models." The laptops on the shelf are on sale for 50 cents. The salesclerk explains, "You glue them permanently to each nail. They sense where each finger is at all times. You don't need a keyboard." The salesman continues, "Of course, some people prefer that their computer not know where their fingers are at all times." The computer says to the clerk, "Dave, about last night . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #athlete, #multimillion, #contract, #banned, #Sports, #drugs, #motivational, #speaker, #motivated, #illiterate

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Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #happiness, #mental health

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Dilbert sits at his desk working with test tubes and beakers of chemicals. Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've identified the brain chemical that controls happiness." Dilbert says, "And I found the exact mix of fruit and vegetable juices that stimulate its production." Dilbert asks, "Do you realize what this means?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. Fruits and vegetables will be banned by the government."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new laptops, #osbournes, #sloppy drive, #operating, #internet time

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Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss reads from his notes. The Boss says, "All new computers will be osbornes." The Boss says, "They come with something called a floppy drive." Dilbert says to Wally, "Somethimg tells me we're not operating on 'Internet Time.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #union work, #employees moving company computer, #old evil, #pdas, #laptops, #cut of giblets, #union steward stuart

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Catbert is behind a desk talking to the union steward. Catbert says, "What new evil do you bring me, Union Steward Stuart?" The union steward says, "Employees should not be allowed to move company computers. That's union work." Catbert says, "That's old evil." Stuart says, "It's new if we include PDAs and laptops." Catbert says, "I like the cut of your giblets."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversations banned, #talk about work, #applies work hours, #home, #Family, #sleeping, #harsh rules, #evil director, #human resources, #business

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Headline: To: Employees From: Catbert. Catbert types, "All non-work conversations are banned." Catbert continues typing, "From now on you're only allowed to talk about work." An employee is eating dinner at home with his family. All of his children are asleep at the table. His wife says, "I think it only applies during work hours." The employee responds, "I can't take that chance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #banned, #cell phones with cae, #copied, #digital form, #emailed anywhere, #evil director, #excellent idea, #new cell ohone, #rendered useless, #scanned, #scrap book

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"Catbert: evil director of human resources" "Excellent idea." "Cell phones with cameras are banned from the workplace." "Why?" "We don't want you taking pictures of proprietary information." "Most of our information is in digital form and can be e-mailed anywhere." "The rest is on paper that can be copied, scanned or tucked down one's trousers." "My new cell phone will be rendered useless for no good reason!" "And you aren't even banning regular cameras!!" This one goes in the scrapbook." "Snap"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stink eye, #banned telekinetic powers, #neutralize threat, #indian institute, #department

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Man says, "Beware the power of stink eye. Intern. I will make you bow to my will!" Asok The Intern says, "Gaaa!!!" Asok The Intern says, "Must...Use...Banned telekinetic powers to neutralize threat." Man says, "Grrrr!!!" Carol The Secretary says, "You have a call from the Indian Institute of technology. It's someone from the department of things you shouldn't do."