Lower Opinion Comic Strips
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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert reads the newspaper and asks, "What do you think about this new Soviet policy of openness?" Dogbert replies, "Actually, I'm not even sure that Gorbachev exists." Dogbert continues, "Guess I'm just kinda 'glasnostic.'" Dilbert says, "I shouldn't let you drink coffee."
Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."
Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. The announcer says, "A new study shows that sitting on a pillow and watching television . . ." The announcer continues, "Can lower your standards . . ." The announcer continues, "Stay tuned for an encore presentation of 'Celebrity Burping.'" Dogbert thinks, "I guess it all works out."
Dilbert arrives at home carrying a bowling ball in a case. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I joined a bowling league." Dogbert's ears fly up in surprise and he says, "Yikes! We've become lower middle-class!" Dilbert says, "Don't be ridiculous. Bowling is good exercise. I'm doing it to build muscle tone." At the bowling alley, Dilbert sees three men who have one huge arm and one little arm. One of the men says, "Hey! 'Little Arm.'"
At Dogbert's nomination hearings, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Dogbert, "Do you have any opinions on the right to privacy?" Dogbert replies, "No. In fact, I've never formed an important opinion in my entire life." The senator says, "You must think we're idiots." Dogbert replies, "Okay, I've formed ONE opinion . . . But that's all."
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."
Dilbert says to a classroom of young students, "Engineering is one of the best careers available." Dilbert continues, "For the next twenty years I'll sit in a big box called a cubicle. It's like a restroom stall but with lower walls." Dilbert continues, "I spend most of my time hoping the electromagnetic fields from my office equipment aren't killing me." The children look horrified.
The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"
"I'd like your opinion for my market research, Ratbert." "Me?!!" "I've lumped you in the market sgetment that includes wild fungi and pencil erasers." "Question one: would you enjoy having your head rubbed vigorously on a piece of paper?" "Who wouldn't?"
"From now on, I'm going to charge anybody who gives me their opinion." "People are idiots. If I have to listen to their opinions, I deserve compensation." "You're forgetting that 'from the mouths of babes...comes...something good." "That'll cost you a buck."