Maintain Urgency Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

31 Results for Maintain Urgency

View 1 - 10 results for maintain urgency comic strips. Discover the best "Maintain Urgency" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #suitcase, #luggage, #m'lord, #maintain, #delicate, #balance, #nature, #sire

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Dilbert lands in Elbonia without his suitcase." Dilbert lands head-first in the mud. Dogbert, who is holding a rifle and wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian. The Elbonian says, "You bagged a nice piece of luggage, M'Lord." A suitcase with a hole in the side of it lies in the mud. As they drag the suitcase behind them, Dogbert says, "I like to think this helps maintain the delicate balance of nature." The Elbonian says, "Yes, sire."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #general, #government, #u.f.o., #encounters, #Lose, #faith, #aliens, #abducting, #people, #helpless, #maintain, #confidence, #taxes, #citizens

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video conference, #desktop, #telecommuting, #level of professionalism, #share document, #next time

View Transcript

Transcript

"This desktop video conference thing is great!" "Even though you're telecommuting, you still maintain a level of professionalism." "Let's share a document next time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project, #assigned, #maintain status quo, #everybody likes project, #not enough funding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I'm assigning you to 'The Project That Wouldn't Die.'" The Boss continues, "Everybody likes this project too much to cancel it, but not enough to fund it properly." Dilbert puts his hands over his eyes and says, "Aaarg!!" The Boss continues, "Now go out there and maintain the status quo!" Dilbert says, "You really shouldn't mix honesty with your motivational speeches."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #artificial urgency, #gibberish, #god news, #mission, #objectives uncler, #insane but happy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Wally says, "Our objectives are unclear and our mission statement is gibberish . . ." Wally continues, "But thanks to an artificial sense of urgency, I'm working harder than ever!" The Boss asks, "What's the good news you said you have?" Wally answers, "Apparently I'm insane. But I'm one of the happy kinds!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #every department, #create web page, #internal network, #include enough info, #security precaution

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Every department is required to create a Web page for our internal network." The Boss continues, "It should include enough information to be difficult to maintain, but not so much that it's useful." The Boss continues, "As a security precaution, we'll make it too dull and unorganized to read." Wally asks, "Is pornography in or out?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clothes defective, #going to kitchen, #maintain discipline, #telecommute, #throry, #wearing work clothes, #clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer and says, "I'm wearing work clothes while I telecomute, to maintain discipline." Dobgert stands behind him and says, "Is it working?" Dilbert gets up and walks to the kitchen and says, "I'll test the theory by seeing if my clothes stop me from going to the kitchen." Dilbert sits at the kitchen table holding a sandwich. The table is covered with food: potato chips, fruit, soda, pickles, etc. He says, "Apparently my clothes are defective. Dogbert says, "Haven't I been saying that?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #maintain urgency, #speed is key, #faster than competition, #sign stuff, #logical questions, #motivational messages

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "WE must maintain a sense of urgency. Speed is the key. We must be faster than the competition." Dilbert says, "Does that mean you'll sign the stuff that's been on your desk for a month?" Dilbert is at home. Dilbert says, to Dogbert, "Logical questions don't mix with motivational messages."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #go away, #someone else cubicle, #finish project, #good teamwork, #reputation, #maintain

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally drinks coffee in alice's cubicle. Alice says, "Will you please go hang around in someone else's cubicle? I need to finish my project." The boss looks in and says, "Hey I see Wally is helping on the project. Good teamwork, Wally!" Wally says, "I hope you do good work. I have a reputation to mantain."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #e commerce sight, #well documented, #flying pigs, #coolest part

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert consults the Boss. Dogbert says, "My team can build an e-commerce site for you." Dogbert continues, "It will be so well-documented that your I.S. group can easily maintain it." The Boss gathers his employees as he explains, "But the coolest part is that the documentation will be delivered by flying pigs."