Mammary Filter Comic Strips

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18 Results for Mammary Filter

View 1 - 10 results for mammary filter comic strips. Discover the best "Mammary Filter" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #d chop, #television, #feel safer, #screens, #violent shows, #news, #Sports, #dramas, #sexual innuendo, #comedy commercials, #weather reports, #tornado rips, #Entertainment

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert holds a device and says, "I call my invention the D-Chip Television Filter." Dogbert says, "I feel safer already." Dilbert explains, "It screens out any show with violence." Dogbert replies, "There goes the news, sports and dramas." Dilbert says, "It also gets rid of shows that feature dishonesty or sexual innuendos." Dogbert says, "Goodbye comedy and commercials." Dilbert says, "Let's hook it up." Dilbert sits on the couch holding the remote control and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dilbert looks at the television and says, "All we're getting is weather reports." The newscaster says, "A huge tornado ripped through a . . ." There is a beep and then only static. Dilbert says, "It works! The evil can't get to us now, Dogbert." Dogbert says, "Unhook that #!*% thing or I'll rip off your leg and beat you to death with it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2003's comic on:


Tags #strategy meetng, #value input, #administrative assistant, #global domination, #engineers, #gocce filters, #popcorn bags, #pantyhouse, #foot on pantyhose, #coffeee filter

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The Boss approaches Carol and says, "Carol, come to my strategy meeting." The Boss continues, "You're only a secretary, but I value your input." Carol exclaims, "I'm an administrative assistant!!!" As they're walking to the meeting, Carol thinks, "Chimp." The Boss thinks, "Bad secretary." The Boss addresses the meeting, "Does anyone have any strategic ideas for global domination?" Carol responds, "The engineers keep using our coffee filters as popcorn bags. That has to stop." Alice stands and yells, "If you ordered enough filters, I would need to use the foot of my pantyhose to make coffee every day!" As they're walking out of the meeting, Wally says to Dilbert, "I'm adding that to the list of things I don't want to think about."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #spam filter, #sexy photos, #tiffany sent email, #boss, #eyes pop

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Asok: Someone named Tiffany sent me e-mail. YAGAA WAGGA!! Alice: someone turned off the spam filter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #balsting music, #musical choices, #psychopath, #egocentric antisocial behavior, #misguided attempt, #cognitive dissonance, #filter perceptions

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Dilbert: Excuse me. May I ask a question? You're blasting your music while your window is open, so Im wondering.... are you thinking that the people around you are enjoying your musical choices? Or are you a psychopath, prone y to ego centri , antisociale behavior? Or is it a sdeaspartae misguided attempt to improve your odds f finding a mate? Its actually a simple case of peer imitation and cognitive dissonance that causes me to selective filter my perceptions. I like that song. Great! Now I suddenly hate it! You ruined everything!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #voice mailbox, #spam filter, #rejects email, #ear wax, #grid

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Wally: "My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter rejects all incoming e-mail." "As soon as I build up a good load of ear wax, I'll be off the grid." The Boss: "Wally, we need to talk." "EH?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2008's comic on:


Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

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Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #spam filter, #self aware, #managing the company, #messages, #allow through, #email, #hair growth

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Dilbert says, "Our spam filter has become self-aware" Dilbert says, "It's managing the company by deciding which messages to allow through." The Boss says, "All I'm getting is e-mail about hair growth and... ooh, another lucky guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2008's comic on:


Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave

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Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #killer robots, #spam filter, #ordered

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Dilbert says, "Do you really think it's a good idea to build killer robots just because our spam filter ordered you?" FZEEET! Dilbert says, "What's the worst thing that could happen?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dinner date, #interesting story, #self aware, #build an army, #killer robots

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A woman says, "Tell me an interesting story." Dilbert says, "Our spam filter became self-aware and ordered us to build an army of killer robots. My coworker, Alice, punched them all to death." The woman says, "I'm not even in that story."