Managing By Exception Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

68 Results for Managing By Exception

View 1 - 10 results for managing by exception comic strips. Discover the best "Managing By Exception" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #book, #office workers, #writing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing. He says to Dilbert, "I'm writing my first business management book, 'Managing in a Bureaucracy.'" Dilbert reads a draft, "You know you're in a bureaucracy when a hundred people who think 'A' get together and compromise on 'B.'" Dilbert asks, "Think anybody will read it?" Dogbert replies, "It doesn't matter. The real money is on the lecture circuit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #personal, #technology, #engineers, #superior, #techno bill, #fax

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and another engineer bow to Dilbert as he walks past. Dilbert thinks, "My vast array of personal technology makes me dominant over the less-equipped engineers." Dilbert thinks, "I am superior to them all . . . With the possible exception of . . ." Dilbert says as he encounters another engineer, "Techno-Bill!!" Techno-Bill has even more electronic gadgets strapped to his body than Dilbert. Bill says, "Looks like somebody just had a fax."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #marketing group, #previous manager killed, #parking lot, #run down, #murder, #apathy to murder, #body on bumper

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "In addition to my current duties, I'll be managing the marketing group." "The marketing job opened because the previous manager got run down in the parking lot." "When they needed a good manager, they knew where to look." Dilbert: "Under your bumper?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #expect, #new employment agreement, #first born, #dna, #derivative works

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Alice read copies of a document. Dilbert says, "I can't believe they expect us to sign these new employment agreement forms." Wally says, "According to this, anything we even THINK of becomes the Company's property. I'm surprised they don't claim our first born sons!" Wally continues, "What do you suppose it means when they copyright our 'DNA and all derivative works?'" Alice says, "They'd make an exception for you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #peer performance, #reviews, #limited budget, #raises, #slander coworkers, #more money, #weasel boy, #hate empoyees

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "It's time to do peer performance reviews!" The Boss continues, "Remember, there's a limited budget for raises. Your best strategy is to slander your co-workers so there's more money for you!" Wally says to Dilbert, "I plan to say very nice things about YOU." Dilbert replies, "Nice try, weasel boy." The Boss thinks as he walks away, "Managing is easy when you hate the employees."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #telecommute, #manage, #preventing from working, #your point, #just beyond grasp

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I can't let you telecommute because then I wouldn't be able to manage you." Dilbert replies, "You're managing me right now, and all it's doing is preventing me from working." The Boss asks, "And your point would be . . . ?" Dilbert replies, "Just beyond your grasp."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drug treatment program, #drug problem, #childproof container

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and The Boss sitting at table. While holding a document, The Boss says, "No one in my division is using the company drug treatment program. This is very embarassing." The Boss continues, "My boss will think I'm not managing the drug problem. Don't ANY of you have a drug problem?" Alice, sitting next to Dilbert and Wally, struggles to open a pill container. She exclaims in a frustrated manner, "#!*% Childproof 'Midol' container!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no meetings, #change software, #software settings, #boss, #good work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "I don't have any meetings today." Dilbert thinks, "I'll change all my software settings until something soesn't work." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Keep up the good work." Dilbert says, "Keep up the good managing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #strategic plan, #secret, #trust, #soabotage, #warranty, #chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is in the boss' office. The boss says, "Make your report consistent with our strategic plan." Dilbert says, "What's out strategic plan?" The boss says, "It's a secret." Dilbert says, "Are you saying you don't trust me?" The boss says, "I don't think it's a coincidence that most employee sabotage is done by employees." Dilbert says, "How can I do my report if I don't know the strategy?! The boss says, "Okay, okay. I'll let you glance at it." The boss pulls a piece of paper out of his desk. The boss barely lets Dilbert see the paper. The boss says, "Time's up! That's long enough!" Dilbert says, "That's the warranty for your chair." The boss says, "Really? I've been managing to this for years."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."