Meaningless Comic Strips
27 Results for Meaningless
View 1 - 10 results for meaningless comic strips. Discover the best "Meaningless" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 13, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert sits up in bed, groans and thinks, "It's 6 a.m. and time for another oppressive day of meaningless toil . . ." Dilbert thinks, "Wait . . . Today is Saturday . . ." Dilbert lies back down and thinks, "I am the happiest man on the planet earth."
Share October 24, 1990's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, the staff meeting is over. Does anybody have any meaningless rambling questions? Johnson?" Johnson asks, "How can we work as a team to achieve total quality without sacrificing customer focus?" The Boss asks, "How many people would like to see me make Johnson fetch this stick?" Everyone raises their hands.
Share April 06, 1991's comic on:
Share May 09, 1992's comic on:
Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, sometimes I wonder if there's a place in this world for a sensitive rat like me." Ratbert continues, "I can't live the hollow, meaningless shell of existence that others so ironically call 'life.'" Ratbert concludes, "I want to make a difference to people." Bob says, "Well, you ruined MY day."
Share February 11, 1993's comic on:
A man stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, "We don't need any of your 'intuition' mumbo jumbo. We need quantitative data!" The man continues, "The only way to make decisions is to pull numbers out of the air, call them 'assumptions,' and calculate the net present value." The man continues, "Of course, you have to use the right discount rate, otherwise it's meaningless." Dogbert says, "Go away."
Share October 22, 1996's comic on:
A man hands Dilbert a business card and says, "Thanks for the meeting. Here's my card." Dilbert reads the card and says, "You call that an e-mail address? It's eighty characters long and mostly meaningless." The caption says, "People with embarrassing e-mail systems . . ." Four people sit in a circle. A woman says, "I tell people, 'The reply function doesn't work. You have to type in my address.'" The man thinks, "Loser."
Share July 31, 1999's comic on:
Asok and Dilbert stand in front of the boss' desk. Dilbert says, "we need six weeks to make a good product design." Asok says, "You gave us three." Dilbert says, "Thanks to your leadership, the products is bad, our stock will plunge, and our lives are totally meaningless." Dilbert says, "Oh, and happy birthday." Asok holds a letter out and says, "We all signed a card."
Share September 13, 2001's comic on:
Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."
Share August 28, 2005's comic on:
"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."
Share December 23, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."