Only Non Engineeer Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Only Non Engineeer

View 1 - 10 results for only non engineeer comic strips. Discover the best "Only Non Engineeer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dating, #ice cream, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors . Dilbert is holding an ice cream cone. Dilbert says, "I can remember when these were only fifteen cents." Dilbert continues, "But I'm really dating myself now . . ." Dogbert says, "Well, it's not as if anybody else would date you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #hair, #medicine, #pharmacy, #perscription, #side effect, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at the counter in a drug store. He says to the clerk, "Hello. Do you remember selling some hair growth formula to a big guy named Dilbert?" The man replies, "Um . . ." Dogbert continues, "Well, I'M Dilbert, and apparently there are some unusual side effects!" The clerk looks shocked. Dogbert continues, "I took time out from my thriving law practice to come talk to you about it." Dogbert walks home humming. Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert says, "Thanks, Dogbert, but I only asked you to get my prescription refill . . . Not the deed to the pharmacy." Dogbert replies, "In the long run this is more cost-effective."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #heck, #shame, #minor

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Phil the Ruler of Heck, "Gosh, I thought 'Heck' was just a figure of speech." Phil replies, "Yeah. A lot of people think they can get away with minor infractions." Phil says, "According to my records, last month you deliberately asked for THREE little ketchups at McDonald's when you KNEW you only needed TWO." Dilbert says, "I knew that would come back to haunt me. Look, I still have the extra one. I'll give it back!" Phil shakes his spoon at Dilbert and says, "Shame shame . . ."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dog, #girlfriend, #single, #animals, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk with paper and a calculator. Dilbert says, "Ah hah! Just as I suspected." Dilbert shows Dogbert a piece of paper and says, "Here it is: mathematical proof that attractive single women exist only in white Volkswagen Rabbits and aerobics classes." Dogbert asks, "How do you explain Vanna White?" Dilbert says as he walks away, "I wonder if Isaac Newton had a dog." Dogbert adds, "Or a girlfriend."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1989's comic on:


Tags #embarrassment, #restaurant, #fancy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert enter a restaurant called "Chez de Whales." Dilbert says, "This is a very fancy place, Dogbert, so don't embarrass me." Dilbert tells the maitre d', "Uh . . . Two please. Non-smoking." The maitre d' replies, "I'm afraid, monsieur, that jackets are required." The maitre d' says, "You may wear these complimentary house jackets while you dine." The maitre d' continues, "You must also wear these beaver hats and clown feet." Dilbert and Dogbert put on the jackets and hats. The maitre d' says, "Next time messieurs will remember their jackets." Dogbert says, "Looks like we narrowly avoided embarrassment."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #criminals, #election, #meeting, #window, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert, who is wearing a sash and carrying a flashlight, "I still think it's dumb to elect the only known criminal around as leader of the neighborhood crime watch." Dilbert responds, "Maybe 'Bad Ed' has changed." A brick crashes through the window. Dilbert reads the note on the brick and says, "It's from Ed. 'Next meeting: Tuesday at 8:00 P.M.'" Dogbert says, "I can't wait for the newsletter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #joke, #pun, #puns

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't believe it; all this time I thought dinosaurs were extinct, but they were just hiding in my house. Hello, A-1 Exterminator? I have dinosaurs... what kind?... I don't know. I've only heard them... Dinosaur: Thesaurus. Dilbert: Maybe a Thesaurus or two... hello?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1989's comic on:


Tags #pun, #puns, #joke, #joking, #dinosaur, #dinosaurs, #hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Bob: Hey... you were right. Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I'm Bob. She's Dawn. We were hiding in your house. Dilbert: Only one kind of dinosaur could hide that well... Dawn: Correct: A Nobodysaurus.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #newspaper, #thief, #machine, #money, #eating

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dream, #hillbillies, #lint, #lint farm, #stranger than fiction

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert joins Dogbert at the breakfast table. He says, "I had the weirdest dream last night . . ." Dogbert replies, "You probably think I want to hear all about it." Dilbert says, "I was kidnapped by hillbillies and forced to produce pocket lint on their illegal lint farm." Dilbert pictures himself hanging from the ceiling with tubes connected to his pockets. Dilbert continues, "They fed me only flannel and water, and mined my pockets twice a day." Dilbert is hooked up to a machine. Dilbert says, "Thank God it was only a dream . . ." Dogbert says, "Only a dream? Maybe you should check your pockets." Dilbert puts his hands in his pockets and screams, "Lint!!" Dogbert looks at the reader and says, "Stranger than fiction."