Open The File Comic Strips

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185 Results for Open The File

View 1 - 10 results for open the file comic strips. Discover the best "Open The File" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #cds, #account, #push-ups, #exercise, #glasses, #david packard, #bank, #bank account

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Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #politeness, #door, #late, #sorry

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Dilbert approaches a man holding a door open and thinks, "I wish this guy wouldn't try to be polite and hold the door." Dilbert reaches for the door and thinks, "I'm at that awkward distance where I should lunge forward so he doesn't have to hold the door too long." Dilbert says, "Oh, thank you." The man says as he walks away, "Great, now I'm late." Dilbert says, "I lunged as fast as I could. Sorry."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #doors, #double doors, #fool, #ventilation ducts, #outside

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Dilbert walks down a hallway thinking, "Uh oh . . . Double doors. One side is always locked and I make a fool of myself trying to open it." Dilbert thinks, "Which side is it? Left? Right? People are watching. Think, think . . ." Dilbert arrives at home looking dirty and disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's when I noticed that the ventilation ducts were big enough for a human to crawl through." Dogbert says, "Too bad they didn't lead to outside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #salad, #bar, #joint, #table, #window, #bathe, #towellettes

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Dilbert sits at his desk assembling a gadget. Dogbert says, "Good news: the 'all-you-can-eat" salad joint just decided to stay open twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "We can get a table by the window and live there for the rest of our lives - for only $5.95 apiece!" Dilbert asks, "How would we bathe?" Dogbert replies, "They have little 'moist towelettes.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weapons, #tv guides, #falcon crest, #sex education

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Dogbert stands on a desk and says, "Okay, class . . . Put your weapons away and open your TV Guides." Dogbert continues, "Timmy, please read aloud the passage from 'Falcon Crest' under the Friday listings." Dogbert thinks, "There's got to be a better way to teach sex education."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #elbonia, #subsidary, #communism, #capitalism, #economics, #appreciation, #real world, #engineers

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'm sending you to Elbonia to open our new subsidiary." Dilbert asks, "Elbonia?" Dilbert continues, "But they only renounced communism last week!! They don't understand capitalism or economics. They have no appreciation of the real world." As he packs his suitcase Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . He thinks they'll make fine engineers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #procedures, #rules, #unmanageable, #interactions, #request, #additional, #Food, #p-39, #liquids

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've decided we need more structure in this household." Dilbert continues, "Things are out of control . . . We have no procedures . . . No rules . . . It's totally unmanageable." Dilbert points to a file cabinet and continues, "That's why I've developed a set of forms to guide our daily interactions." Dilbert continues, "For example, this P-38 form is a request for additional food." Dilbert continues, "The P-39 is for liquids and the P-40 is a convenient way to request both food and liquids." Dogbert says, "Give me a P-39 form . . . I'm a little dry." Later, Dogbert hands Dilbert the form and says, "Under 'purpose for distribution' I put 'thirsty.' I hope that's right." Dilbert writes on the form and says, "Request denied . . . You used an outdated form."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #encyclopaedia, #brittanica, #hair, #museum, #wrote, #bibile

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Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "I've written the entire Encyclopaedia Brittanica on this hair." Dogbert continues, "I'll open a museum and charge people to see it." Dilbert says, "It's kind of hard to prove you wrote all that on a hair." Dogbert points to a hair says, "I'll swear on this Bible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #scientist, #anti-defamation, #league, #stereotype, #social, #lives, #meeting

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A man stands at a podium and says into the microphone, "Welcome to the 'Scientist Anti-Defamation League' weekly meeting." The man continues, "Tonight's topic is the stereotype that we scientists have no social lives . . . But first . . ." The man asks, "Is Saturday night okay for our next meeting?" Someone says, "I'm free." Another person says, "No problem." Another person says, "Wide open."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #armchair, #students, #attendants, #gas, #station

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I've decided to open a vocational training school." Dilbert asks, "For whom?" Dogbert replies, "Self-service gas station attendants." Dilbert asks, "You mean, students will pay you to teach them how to sit and do nothing?" Dogbert replies, "It makes you wonder why nobody is already doing it."