Oxygen Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

18 Results for Oxygen

View 1 - 10 results for oxygen comic strips. Discover the best "Oxygen" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #neighborhood, #window, #through, #awkward, #sucked, #fungus, #brick, #valentine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert looks out the window and says, "Hey, that's Lisa. I dated her last night!" Dilbert walks outside and says, "Lisa! What are you doing in this neighborhood!" Lisa looks guilty and replies, "Well . . . Actually, I didn't know how to tell you to stop calling me . . ." Lisa continues, ". . . So I came to throw this brick with a note on it through your window." Lisa throws the brick and it crashes through the window. She says, "It seems awkward now . . ." Dilbert reads the note on the brick, ". . . It was like you sucked the oxygen out of the room . . . You remind me of fungus . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . Continued on brick two." Dilbert ducks as another brick crashes through the window. He says, "That's it! She is OFF my Valentine list!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #emergency, #budget, #exercise, #estimate, #impact, #replacing, #engineers, #summarize, #bullet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. A woman says, "Dilbert, I need you to stop everything and do this emergency budget exercise." The woman explains, "Estimate the budget impact of replacing all the engineers with decorative plants." The woman says, "Later, I'll summarize everybody's inputs into a bullet point, like 'oxygen is good.'" Dilbert asks, "Would these be rented plants?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #budget, #impact, #projects, #bullet, #points, #oxygen, #competition, #jello, #detailed, #senior, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I summarized the budget impacts on six hundred projects with those three bullet points." The Boss reads, "- Oxygen is good. - Competition is bad. - I like Jello." The woman asks, "Do you think it's too detailed for the senior executives?" The Boss replies, "Take out the 'competition' one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #noriko, #generation, #Kids, #power, #names, #ship, #oxygen, #mars, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #experiment, #volunteers, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #volunteers, #cell phone, #ratbert, #car salespeople

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "With oxygen and food nearly depleted, the Bioworld volunteers become philosophical." Dogbert and Ratbert communicate using cellular phones. Ratbert says, "Some of the volunteers think that because they're car salespeople you don't value their lives . . ." Dogbert says, "If that were true, how can you explain that we put you in there too?" Ratbert says, "That's what I said, but it didn't seem to cheer them up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #converstaion, #Dilbert, #faking through, #velcro works, #block oxygen, #brain

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: "He's explaining something that I already understand. I've got to stop him." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." Ted: "I'll try vigorous nodding and agreeing, plus closed body language." Dilbert: "Blah blah blah." "Right right right." Dilbert: "And have I ever told you how 'velcro' works?" TED: "Maybe if I block the oxygen to my brain..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 hour meeting, #doesn't apply, #highly paid contractor, #oxygen to brains, #multimedia developer

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: It looks like you're off to a three-hour staff meeting that doesn't apply to me. Ted: Im glad Im a highly paid contractor, I'll be increasing my skills while you fight to get oxygen to your brains. THREE HOURS LATER TED: I became a multimedia developer, How was your day?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dominion, #dolts, #breathing air, #Dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert stands on the armrest. Dogbert says, "My dominion over the planet is not widely recognized by the dolts who are breathing my air." Dogbert continues, "So I've declared total sovereignty over a small, ever-widening zone surrounding my body." Dilbert asks, "How big is the zone?" Dogbert says into a megaphone, "You have just entered Dogbertland. Please show your passport and leave the oxygen alone!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #useful skills, #raising issues, #salespeople, #new prodcut, #have a meeting, #oxygen being wasted

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted stands behind Dilbert. Dilbert sits at his computer. Ted says, "I have no useful skills or knowledge. I compensate by 'raising issues'." Ted announces, "Our salespeople haven't been trained for the new product!!" Ted says, "Someone should have a meeting about that." Dilbert says, "Wow, I can actually hear oxygen being wasted."