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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1989's comic on:


Tags #ball, #rent, #tuxedo

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Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading an invitation. Dilbert says, "Great! The engineer's ball is black tie this year." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I will be renting a tuxedo for the ball, and I would like it if you could keep any snide comments to yourself." Dogbert says, "Gosh. Even I wouldn't make fun of a guy who would pay sixty-five bucks to wear borrowed pants."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 1989's comic on:


Tags #crimes, #knowledge, #money, #power, #reading, #convince

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #newspaper, #thief, #machine, #money, #eating

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Dilbert puts a coin in a newspaper machine and thinks, "Sometimes I get this wicked urge to take two newspapers and only pay for one." Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "What's the worst that can happen? Besides, this machine ate my money last time." Dilbert looks at a newspaper. On the front page is a picture of him stealing the newspaper and the headline says, "Thief!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #dream, #hillbillies, #lint, #lint farm, #stranger than fiction

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Dilbert joins Dogbert at the breakfast table. He says, "I had the weirdest dream last night . . ." Dogbert replies, "You probably think I want to hear all about it." Dilbert says, "I was kidnapped by hillbillies and forced to produce pocket lint on their illegal lint farm." Dilbert pictures himself hanging from the ceiling with tubes connected to his pockets. Dilbert continues, "They fed me only flannel and water, and mined my pockets twice a day." Dilbert is hooked up to a machine. Dilbert says, "Thank God it was only a dream . . ." Dogbert says, "Only a dream? Maybe you should check your pockets." Dilbert puts his hands in his pockets and screams, "Lint!!" Dogbert looks at the reader and says, "Stranger than fiction."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #almanac, #budget, #andorra, #mercenaries, #unethical, #imprison

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Dogbert sits at the table reading a book. Dilbert says, "You've been reading that World Almanac for hours." Dogbert replies, "I'm looking for nations I can conquer on a limited budget." Dogbert says, "Here's one: 'Andorra. 185 square miles. Only 56,000 people. Joint rule by France and Spain . . .'" Dogbert says, "Hmm . . . 'King Dogbert of Andorra' has a nice ring to it. Now I just need some mercenaries." Dilbert asks, "How are you going to pay for mercenaries?" Dogbert replies, "I'll float some junk bonds until we can loot the treasury of Andorra." Dilbert says, "It strikes me as a bit unethical." Dogbert says, "Apparently I'll have to imprison some dissidents."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 1989's comic on:


Tags #dieting & weight control, #Dilbert, #grocery store, #grape, #weight, #happy

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Dilbert pushes a shopping cart through a grocery store. A clerk says, "Hold it right there, fella!" Dilbert turns around and says, "Uh-oh . . . You must have seen me eat that grape in aisle 'B.'" The clerk responds, "I just want to make sure you pay for it." Dilbert lies on the scale at the cash register. The clerk says, "Looks like 192 pounds. What were you before you came in?" Dilbert replies, "Happy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mysteries, #china, #great wall of china, #armies, #engineering, #flop

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "And another of life's mysteries is, why do they call it the 'Great Wall of China?'" Dilbert continues, "It never really kept any invading armies out . . . Kind of a dismal flop from an engineering perspective." Dogbert says, "I don't think 'The Dismal Flop of China' would have the same tourist appeal." Dilbert replies, "I wouldn't pay to see it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #dates, #love, #dating, #Dogbert

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #editorial, #congressmen, #illegal, #criminals

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Here's an interesting editorial . . ." Dilbert continues, "This guy says we should increase the pay of congressmen to remove incentive for them to engage in illegal acts." Dogbert says, "By that theory, criminals aren't bad, just underpaid."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1989's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #thinking, #dustin hoffman, #dog, #mirror, #fur, #zipper, #rock

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Dogbert sits outdoors thinking, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just an actor on the cosmic stage of life." Dogbert thinks, "Maybe I'm Dustin Hoffman in a doggie costume." Dogbert thinks, "I better find a mirror and check my fur for a zipper."