Pig Lady Comic Strips
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Dilbert stands in front of the dresser mirror tying his tie and Dogbert sits on the bed. Dilbert says, "I've got a blind date with the lady who works at the library reference desk." Dogbert asks, "What if she's ugly?" Dilbert replies, "Looks aren't important. She sounded very smart over the phone, and I'm attracted to intelligent women." Dogbert says, "Oh . . . right." Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "Uh . . . Should I talk, or will you be reading my thoughts directly?"
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Did you hear that the tiny east European country of Elbonia has abandoned communism?" Dogbert replies, "Whoa! Big changes ahead." The caption says, "Elbonia: Monday." A pig and a man sit in the mud on a mud farm. The caption says, "Elbonia: Tuesday." The pig wears a sign that says, "My pig," the man wears a sign that says, "My feet."
The caption says, "Dilbert takes a slingshot ride to Elbonia's capital." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "There it is . . ." Dilbert lands in the mud and thinks, "It's a good thing this whole country is made of mud." Dilbert says to two Elbonians and a pig, "I have come to teach you capitalism." A pig asks, "Did you bring blue jeans?"
An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."
Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The basic problem with your economy is that the only product you make is mud . . ." An Elbonian asks, "So?" Dilbert says, "Nobody needs mud. Who the heck is in charge of planning this economy, anyway?" The pig smiles.
Dilbert the Frog says, "Dogbert, I need your help. Check my computer to see if there is any way to reverse the spell and make me human!" Dogbert stands on a book on a desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert thinks, "Hmm . . . 'The only way to reverse a frog spell is a kiss from a dog or a princess . . . '" Dilbert asks, "What'd it say?!!" Dogbert replies, "Gargle, you're gonna visit Lady Di."
Dogbert stands on a chair and Dogbert the Frog sits next to him. Dogbert says into the telephone, "Hello . . . Buckingham Palace? I was wondering if the Princess would be willing to kiss a frog and remove a witch's curse for us." Dogbert says into the phone, "Oh . . . Lady Di does not kiss hideous little creatures . . ." Dogbert says, "That must be mighty awkward at family reunions . . . Hello?" Dilbert covers his eyes.
The caption says, "Dilbert needs a kiss from a princess to remove the frog curse." Dilbert the Frog says to Dogbert, "It's hopeless . . ." Dogbert opens the closet door and says, "There's one chance, but we'll need some props." Dilbert is wearing a crown and a fake nose. Dilbert asks, "You seriously think this will fool Lady Di?" Dogbert replies, "I'd wait until she's had a few margaritas."
The panel says, "Note: Some new readers of this strip may be confused by the presence of a character who looks very much like a potato. The following comparison should clear things up:" A caption pointing to a drawing of Dilbert the Frog says, "Dilbert (turned into a frog and disguised as Prince Charles)." A caption points to a potato. The panel says, "A handy rule for telling which one is a potato is to look for the presence of glasses. Although potatoes do have eyes, they are know to be vain and generally prefer contact lenses. Keep this reference guide with you."
Dogbert looks at a clock on the wall and thinks, "By now Dilbert should have infiltrated Buckingham Palace." Dogbert thinks, "One kiss from the Princess and his 'frog curse' will be lifted . . . I just hope his disguise works . . ." Inside a tower, Lady Diana asks, "Charlie, why does your breath smell like flies?" Dilbert the Frog answers, "Uh . . . I had lunch with a common person today . . ."