Pointy Haired Loser Comic Strips

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

172 Results for Pointy Haired Loser

View 1 - 10 results for pointy haired loser comic strips. Discover the best "Pointy Haired Loser" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #tennis, #cans, #cannibals

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert stand on a tennis court holding rackets. Dilbert asks, "Did you bring a can of balls as I asked you to?" Dogbert replies, "Uh . . . Did you say CAN OF BALLS? I'll be right back." Dogbert says to a cannibal in a grass skirt, "Sorry, turns out we don't need you after all." The cannibal asks, "How about if I just eat the loser?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #elves, #demands, #slapped, #pointy, #hats, #flat, #Funny

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table on which four elves are standing. Dilbert reads from a document, "We the elves make the following demands . . ." Dilbert holds up a fly swatter and asks, "Wouldn't it be funny if I just slapped your pointy hats flat?" The elves walk away wearing flattened hats. An elf says, "I cannot believe what passes for funny around here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failed, #driving, #test, #nine, #Dogbert, #school, #specialize, #problem, #application, #form, #special, #pointy

View Transcript

Transcript

A customer sits across from Dogbert's desk. The boy says, "I've failed the driving test nine times. Can you help?" Dogbert replies, "I specialize in the problem cases. Just sign the application form." The boy looks at the pencil and says, "Wait . . . I've seen one of these before. Yes, there's something special about the pointy end . . . But what?" Dogbert thinks, "Uh oh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #straw, #loser, #kill, #abusive, #coworker, #floyd, #blue, #short, #murderer, #cheater

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Everybody pick a straw. The loser has to kill our abusive co-worker, Floyd." Ted says, "Dilbert loses. He picked the blue straw." Dilbert says, "I thought the SHORT straw loses." Ted replies, "You're already a murderer; don't be a cheater too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #digital, #dating, #service, #loser, #velveeta, #digitize, #picture, #hair, #nose, #tan, #photoshop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits at a desk in front of a sign that says "Dogbert's Digital Dating Service." A man enters and says, "I'm a loser. Sign me up." Dogbert aims a camera at the man and says, "Say 'Velveeta.'" The man smiles. Dogbert sits at a computer and says, "Now we digitize your picture for the database." Dogbert says, "I could add some digital hair." The man replies, "Good idea." Dogbert says, "Maybe I should bob your nose and give you a tan." The man says, "That's fair." Dogbert asks, "Whiten teeth? Smooth wrinkles? Hide stomach? Thicken lips?" The man replies, "Yes" to all of his questions. The man looks at the final photo and says, "I look like Sandra Bernhard." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, but you have to admit it improves your odds."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #computer, #Politics, #taxes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize the government takes half of all the money you make?" Dogbert continues, "And the majority of people are too young to vote, or didn't bother to vote, or voted for the loser. . . . And nobody alive voted for our constitution." Dilbert replies, "It's never good when you have these insights." Dogbert says, "I've decided to levy my own tax on people."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #the boss, #management, #consulting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk next to a large binder. Dogbert says, "Here's my consulting report on your company." Dogbert says, "I had no insights so I bulked it up by adding witty analogies." The Boss reads, "His head was like a hollow putty ball attacked by two pointy dust bunnies." Dogbert asks, "Vivid, isn't it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogbert consulting, #liver, #slab of liver, #harvard mba, #good debaters, #brains wrapped

View Transcript

Transcript

"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #project, #cooler, #acronym, #joke, #anticipated, #beginning, #binders, #fulfilling, #Dogbert, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I was just reading your project status report." "You say the project is delayed 'due to the ongoing bungling of a clueless, pointy-haired individual.'" "Instead of saying 'due to', it would read better as 'facilitated by'."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baywatch, #morale is low, #talk of mutiny, #project staus report, #death to boss, #pointy haired one

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!