Prediction Comic Strips
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23 Results for Prediction
View 1 - 10 results for prediction comic strips. Discover the best "Prediction" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday December 11,
1991
Tags Dogbert, sarcasm, nostradogbert, turmoil, middle east, ratbert, limb, sand
Transcript
Dogbert, who is wearing a turban, says to Ratbert, "Nostradogbert predicts there will be turmoil in the Middle East." Ratbert replies, "Wow! That's quite a prediction! You're really going out on a limb!" Dogbert asks, "Is that sarcasm? I can't tell with you." Ratbert asks, "Will there be any sand involved?"
Saturday March 04,
1995
Tags predicted success, salaries, die in stapler mishap, disagree, precition, Opinion, analysis, science
Transcript
The Boss hands Dilbert a sheet of paper and says, "From now on, salaries will be based on your predicted success, not your past performance." While Dilbert reads the report, the Boss says, "We ran a computer model against your education and DNA information. We predict you'll die in a stapler mishap within a week." Dilbert asks, "What if I disagree with this prediction?" The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "Write up your opinion and staple it to the analysis."
Wednesday January 21,
2009
Tags business, revenue, firing, prediction
Transcript
Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."
Thursday April 16,
2009
Tags future, prediction, bleak, scary
Transcript
Company Economist Man says, "In 2010 the economy will collapse and the world will plunge into darkness." Man says, "You will all be eaten by cannibals who will, in turn, die from the diseases that riddle your bodies." The boss says, "Please never talk again." Man says, "I get that a lot lately."
Wednesday November 11,
2009
Tags ridicule, age, generation, blame, prediction, criticism, angry, annoyed
Transcript
Asok says, "Your age group has destroyed the hopes of my entire generation." Asok says, "Your parents were the so-called 'Greatest generation.' I wonder what your age group will be known as." Asok says, "I'll bet it includes the word 'Bag.'"
Monday September 22,
2014
Donuts 'N Vodka
Tags cognitive control, hiring, job interview, self control, temptation, prediction of success, donut, laptop, bottle vodka, resist
Transcript
Catbert: Your experience is impressive, but a better predictor of success is your cognitive control. I will leave you for ten minutes with a donut, a laptop full of inappropriate videos, and a bottle of vodka. Try to resist them. Man: Yee-ha! Mmm-mm! Catbert: Do not go in there.
Tuesday March 31,
2015
Tina Strings Economic Words Together
Tags economist, economy, deception, jargon, prediction, stock market, recession, money
Transcript
Wally The Chief Economist. Tina: My interview with you is live on the website. Nothing you said made sense, so I strung together a bunch of economic jargon and called it your forecast. One Month Later. Computer: Only one economist accurately predicted when this bubble would burst. Dilbert: Uh-oh.
Monday December 07,
2015
Dna Kit Predicts Health Issues
Tags technology, future, death, prediction, health, reaction, medical
Transcript
Dilbert: I combined a DNA test kit with big data to predict a person's future health issues. That depressing knowledge caused every member of the test group to make risky lifestyle choices. Now half of them are dead. At the risk of bragging, that's exactly what my model predicted.
Friday April 01,
2016
Random Number Generator
Tags projection, money, prediction, unrealistic expectations, numbers, obliviousness, guest artist, donna oatney
Transcript
Boss: Can you get me more details on the financial projections? Dilbert: Sure. I wrote an app that generates random numbers, just in case you asked for them. Boss: 17, 4, 962... Yes, this looks about right.
Saturday April 02,
2016
The Boss's Feng Shui And Aura
Tags horoscope, Astrology, prediction, fortune, nonsense
Transcript
Carol: Ooh. Bad news on your horoscope today. Your moon is intersecting with the feng shui of your aura. Boss: How long do I have? Carol: You'll be dead by noon. Boss: I meant until my next meeting.


