Processes Comic Strips
20 Results for Processes
View 1 - 10 results for processes comic strips. Discover the best "Processes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share April 27, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."
Share November 14, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss asks, "So, what have you accomplished this year?" Dilbert thinks, "I hate performance reviews." Dilbert replies, "Well, I used my empowerment to create a new paradigm." Dilbert continues, "And I teamed across functional boundaries to improve quality." Dilbert continues, "I dare say I was customer-focused and market-driven!" Dilbert holds his arms out and says, "I proactively found excellence in the midst of chaos!" Dilbert continues, "I re-engineered my core processes and embraced change!" Dilbert stands up and bows. He says, "I give you - Dilbert - the perfect employee!" The Boss asks, "Was that sarcasm?" Dilbert replies, "To be honest, I don't know either."
Share February 28, 1994's comic on:
The Boss: I just read this great book about how to 'reengineer' our business processes. everybody's doing it. We'd better jump under the bandwagon before the train leaves the station! Im putting you in charge. The Boss: If you need any management support you know where to go,
Share March 03, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's our preliminary recommendation for radically reengineering our business processes. AAAGH! COUGH SPOINT! Dilbert: He coughed up his skull. Dogbert: I bet that smarts.
Share November 10, 1994's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "As your consultant, I'll tell you how to improve your business processes." Dogbert continues, "I'll show you how a well-designed process can compensate for your sloth, apathy and all-around incompetence." Dogbert continues, "But most important: let's have fun."
Share December 17, 1994's comic on:
The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Ratbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ratbert asks, "Excuse me . . . I'm only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Ratbert says, "Let's form multidisciplinary task forces to reengineer our core processes until we're a world class organization!" The Boss says, "Sounds good. Go do it." Ratbert says, "I'm more of an idea rat."
Share February 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"
Share April 30, 1996's comic on:
Wally, Dilbert, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another banner week of accomplishments!" Wally continues, "I streamlined my business processes while honing my participatory style and my proactive attitude, all while valuing diversity!" The Boss asks, "You watched the mandatory training videos?" Wally adds, "And I lost my free will!"
Share October 03, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits at a table using a laptop. Dilbert tells the man across the table, "I need to document your job processes to satisfy our ISO 9000 requirements." The man replies, "Okay." The man says, "I try to anticipate the shifting political winds. Then I wrap myself in the relevant buzzwords and try to achieve importance without adding value." Dilbert asks, "What's your job title?" The man replies, "Director of ISO 9000 Quality Process Design."
Share October 04, 1996's comic on:
The Boss and a man sit at a conference table. The man says, "Your product looks good, but you can't be our supplier unless your company is ISO 9000 certified." The Boss asks, "So . . . You don't care how bad our internal processes are, as long as they're well-documented and used consistently?" The man replies, "That's right." The Boss says, "Our documented process says I must now laugh in your face and double our price."