Random Subordinate Comic Strips

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67 Results for Random Subordinate

View 1 - 10 results for random subordinate comic strips. Discover the best "Random Subordinate" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1990's comic on:


Tags #sonic, #obliterator, #buffalo, #buffaloes, #application, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #nanosecond

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Dilbert sits at his desk holding a device that looks like a gun. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "This could be my most important technical achievement yet. I'll call it the 'Sonic Obliterator.' Hmm . . . Catchy." Dilbert explains, "This baby can blast a buffalo into random particles in about half a nanosecond." Dilbert continues, "Of course, it might have limited application around the house." Dogbert says, "At least the buffalos will show us some respect."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #solitaire, #cards, #random, #declare, #winner, #satisfying, #arm chair, #desk

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Dogbert sits at a table holding some playing cards. He thinks, "I can't remember the rules for solitaire." Dogbert thinks, "I'll just put the cards in random piles and then declare myself the winner." Dilbert sits back in the chair and looks at the piles. He thinks, "That was surprisingly satisfying."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #illegal, #search, #car, #home, #drugs, #ethical, #problemblood, #body, #cafeteria

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Starting today, the company will begin random drug testing." The Boss continues, "Although it would be illegal to search your car or home for illegal drugs . . ." The Boss concludes, "We have found no ethical problem with sucking the blood out of your body. Results will be posted in the cafeteria."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #dilemma, #company, #discouraging, #drug, #use, #constitutional, #rights, #straightest, #path, #mud, #rationalize

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Dilbert sits in his chair and says to Dogbert, "It's an ethical dilemma . . . I support my company's goal of discouraging drug use, but the random drug testing policy is a violation of my constitutional rights." Dilbert continues, "I'll get fired if I refuse the test. What is the ethical thing to do?" Dogbert replies, "Hack into their computer and change your Boss's test results." Dilbert sits at his computer and says, "Sometimes the straightest path is through the mud." Dogbert says, "Good, rationalize it with an obtuse metaphor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 06, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mensa, #meeting, #link, #arms, #stimulate, #dna, #structure, #celebrity, #random

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A man with a large head says to Dilbert, "Since this is the first time you've been to a Mensa meeting, I'll explain a few things." The man continues, "When the music stops we all link arms to simulate the DNA structure of a featured celebrity." The man says quietly, "To be honest, I think a lot of it is just random."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1992's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #unimportant, #requires, #action, #route, #subordinate, #inflating, #perceived, #importance, #destroying, #morale, #productivity, #luck, #copies

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The Boss sits at his desk looking through a stack of documents and thinking, "Here's something else that's totally unimportant yet requires action." The Boss thinks, "I'll route it to a subordinate, thus inflating its perceived importance and destroying both morale and productivity." The Boss thinks, "What luck, I got two copies!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #think, #spare, #feelings, #hideous, #compost, #random, #colors, #hackneyed, #poorly, #executed, #embarrassing, #proof, #utter

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Dogbert sits at the table and Ratbert stands on the table in front an easel. Ratbert says, "Tell me what you think, and don't try to spare my feelings." Dogbert says, "It's a hideous compost of random colors. It seems both hackneyed and poorly executed. It's an embarrassing proof of your utter lack of talent." Dogbert continues, "As for you personally, spend some time on a 'Stairmaster.'" Ratbert says angrily, "Stick to the art, please!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #chips, #hear, #latest, #brain, #research, #proven, #stimulation, #conscious, #absurd, #rationalizations, #random, #interaction, #arguably, #control

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Ratbert sits on the hassock eating potato chips. Dogbert says, "Hi, Ratbert, may I have some chips?" Ratbert answers, "No, sorry. There are only enough for one." Dogbert asks, "Did you hear about the latest brain research?" Dogbert says, "Science has proven that the part of the brain responsible for conscious thought doesn't show any stimulation until AFTER you act." Dogbert continues, "That means you never make conscious decisions; all you do is rationalize what you've done after the fact." Dogbert continues, "Your life is nothing but a series of absurd rationalizations for the random interaction of chemicals in your brain." Ratbert starts blinking. Ratbert falls over, drops the bag of chips and screams, "Aaagh!!! My life is absurd!!" Dogbert sits on the hassock eating the chips. He says, "That was mean, but aruguably I couldn't control myself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #bob, #Dilbert, #ratbert, #email, #computer, #Dogbert, #wedgie

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #sharing meeting, #project, #pathetic series, #poorly planned, #random acts, #emotional desparation, #things are fine, #need a hug

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The Boss: "Let's go around the table and give an update on each of our projects." Man: "My project is a pathetic series of poorly planned, near-random acts. My life is a tragedy of emotional desperation." The boss: "It's more or less customary to say things are going fine." Man: "I think I need a hug."