Recycling Goals Comic Strips

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72 Results for Recycling Goals

View 1 - 10 results for recycling goals comic strips. Discover the best "Recycling Goals" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #ratbert, #visualization, #achieve, #hunk, #cheese, #visualizing, #world, #ruler

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Dogbert and Ratbert stand on the edge of a cliff. Dogbert says, "I come up here and use visualization to achieve my goals." Dogbert continues, "You can get anything you want by visualizing it." Ratbert replies, "Wow! I've got to try that!" Dogbert says, "I'm the ruler of the world." Ratbert says, "You're a big hunk of cheese."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #agenda, #discussion, #paper, #recycling, #program, #drawback

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The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and a woman sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "First on the agenda is a discussion of the company's new paper recycling program." Dilbert looks at the agenda and says, "We talked about that last time . . . Hey, this is last week's agenda." The Boss replies, "You spotted the one drawback."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #time machine, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #recycling, #trash

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Dilbert kneels in front of a machine. He tells Dogbert, "My time machine is complete." Dogbert says, "I guess you'll be off to explore exotic and fascinating civilizations." Dilbert asks, "Why would anybody want to do that?" Dogbert replies, "Beats me." Dilbert says, "My plan is to send all of our trash to ourselves twenty years from now. We'll have much better recycling methods by then." Dilbert puts a bag of trash into the time machine and says, "I wonder what elegant methods we'll have for recycling in the future." Dilbert continues, "I bet we'll have a way that's quick and efficient and . . ." Dogbert asks, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh." They hear a "ping." Dilbert and Dogbert stand among several bags of trash. Dilbert says, "We would send it back in time and wait for it to decompose." Dogbert says, "I hate us."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #ball, #bonk, #Dilbert, #head bounce, #make goal, #soccer game, #strike, #uses head bonk

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BONK Dilbert: Gee, Ive scored five goals that way. Liz: you've got a good head for this game.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

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The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #telecommute, #high paying, #goals, #measured, #stay home, #mail checks, #direct deposit

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"I'd like a job where I can telecommute every day." "It should be high-paying yet have goals which can't be measured." "So, you'd stay home and we'd mail you checks?" "I was hoping for direct deposit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #renewed psychologist, #peak performance, #relative, #dysfunctional team, #realistic goals, #postpone canibalsim

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Dogbert and Alice sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired renowned psychologist Dogbert to help us achieve peak performance in teamwork." Dogbert says, "Peak performance is somewhat relative. You're a highly dysfunctional team, so we must set realistic goals." The Boss asks, "What would be a realistic goal for us?" Dogbert answers, "I think I can postpone cannibalism."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 1995's comic on:


Tags #taken vacation, #use vacation days, #work 7 days a week, #year end review, #artificial project, #vacation target, #mutually exclusive goal, #frustration

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The Boss, Alice, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Alice, our records show that you haven't taken a vacation all year." The Boss continues, "Company policy requires you to use your vacation days." Alice says, "How?? You told me to work seven days a week to prepare the project for your boss's year-end review." Alice asks, "Do you want me to meet the artificial project target or the artificial vacation target?" Alice stands up and screams, "Hello!!! These are mutually exclusive goals!!! Hello!!!" Alice says, "Ooh . . . Sorry, I usually just think that last part in silent frustration." The Boss says, "Moving right along . . . Kudos to Wally for using all of his vacation days ahead of schedule." Alice looks furious. Wally says, "Get over it, Alice. We can't all be superstars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #long range career goal, #arm wrestle, #have job in six months, #working for her, #women college, #confident and assertive

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Dilbert sits at a table with a woman. Dilbert asks, "If you were hired, what would be your long-range career goals?" The woman replies, "I'd have your job in six months. In a year you'd be working for me, you big pile of dinosaur dung." Dilbert looks at the woman's resume and says, "I see you attended an all women's college. Does that make you more confident and assertive?" The woman puts her elbow on the table and says, "Either arm. Let's go."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1998's comic on:


Tags #2 percent raise, #not challenging, #exceeded golas, #no complaining, #walls performance, #complained all year, #weasel, #stab him in back

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Alice is sitting at the Boss's desk. He tells her, "I can only give you a two percent raise this year, Alice." He adds, "Because your job was not very challenging." Alice asks, "How could you possibly not think it was challenging?" The Boss replies, "You exceeded all your goals without complaining." The Boss adds, "Compare that to Wally's performance. He complained all year." The Boss: "And he missed every goal! Now THAT'S a challenging job!" Alice shouts, "Wally is a filthy weasel!!!" As Alice leaves, furious, the Boss adds, "Maybe his hygiene isn't the best, but he was right when he said you would stab him in the back."